sleep.

Dear Nathaniel,
I love you so much, my darling! And, I know that when you're a big boy, you won't remember today. But I might...and, that is why I'm writing this to you. You've been having lots of trouble falling asleep for your naps recently, and you've been waking up several times at night. You're getting overly sleepy and grumpy--and so am I. I've been frustrated that our usual nap techniques aren't working anymore, and I'm going crazy trying to figure how to get you to nap! I've been more irritated about a silly morning nap than anyone should be, and I want you to know that I'm sorry. I know that you're getting older, and I know that your sleeping habits are changing. I only want the best for you, my precious son, and I don't want to spend any of our time together being a grouch!
I know that you're curious and growing, but, Baby, sleep really is important! If you're not tired, it's okay to stay awake...but when you're sleepy, I want you to rest. Sleep will help you to grow so strong and big and smart! This may seem like a silly time to write this to you because you slept so well last night, and you're taking a super duper nap right now! But, while we're working on sleep transitioning and changes in schedules, I'm sure that we'll have more sleepless nights and afternoons. No matter how frustrating it might be, I will try harder not to let you see me get grumpy. I love you, Darling.
I know that you're new to this 7 month wakeful period...and so am I. I am doing what I can to learn everything there is to learn about babies and sleep patterns, but you're more important. I'm reading a book with lots of good ideas (some of which are already helping us--maybe me, more so than you!), and I will be paying close attention to your cues and needs. I will try to use what I can from the book, but it's really all about you and your needs, my precious baby.

I guess that what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry for getting frustrated and harsher than I should have been with you recently. When you wake up, I'll tell you that I'm sorry--and you're going to get so many cuddles and kisses! You are the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me, and I love you more than life itself. You are perfect. Even when I plopped you into your swing and told you to "Just go to sleep already!", you smiled up at me with that adorable grin. Oh, you can melt my heart even when I feel like it's frozen over! And then, you simply went to sleep on your own (something that you never do!), and stayed asleep for almost 2+ hours so far....I feel like you knew that I was mad and wanted to be a good boy. Oh, Baby, you are such a good boy--always, no matter if you're sleeping or not! I'm kicking myself for being such a grouch....and now, dare I admit, I'm getting antsy waiting for you to wake up! {I can't wait to cuddle you up and kiss those cheeks!} Sleep well, Darling....

I love you to the moon and the stars, Precious Boy!

XOXOXOXOXOX, Mommy