Christmas Photo Fail.

I dressed the boys in their cute little coordinating outfits, popped them in the glider, and attempted to get a few decent shots. Maybe, just maybe, one of them would be Christmas card worthy!


....or maybe not!

In Nate's words, "UH-OH!"

Momma's kisses.

Every time that Nate bumps his head or pinches a finger or stubs a toe, he comes running to me for kisses to make it all better. And every time, it works. No matter whether the boo-boo is big or small, warrants tears or not, it requires a Momma kiss! We all know that "Mommy's kisses make every better!" ....but I didn't realize the truth to that statement until I became a mommy myself! I must kiss 20 little bumps and "uh-oh"s daily, and they're all better afterward! The bigger boo-boos, you know, like scrapes and forehead knots--they require Momma's kisses too! And, while the kiss might not stop the tears immediately, it calms him down like nothing else can. Nobody else's kisses work that magic--not even Daddy's!
Of course, I'd be happy for my boy to never have another boo-boo, but that's not realistic--he's a boy! I hate to see him in pain, but there's a certain sense of pride that fills me every time he races over for a kiss from his momma. It's an overwhelming love and security that he craves when he's in pain, and that's what Mommy's kisses are. They are a reminder that he's loved, and that I'm always here for him. Will my kisses always be the first thing he wants when something hurts? Not likely. But, will he always have all my love? Most definitely.

Thankful.

Once again, it's that time of year where we pause and mention a few of the things for which we're most thankful. For me, it's my sweet husband, my happy and healthy boys, our home, my parents, my brothers, our church family, our freedom, the luxury of being a stay-at-home momma, the luxury of being a momma at all--and so many other things! I've been blessed so very much, and I'm grateful. (Not only in November, but all year long!)

I hope you have a most blessed and peaceful Thanksgiving holiday with those whom you love! And, most importantly, don't forget to give thanks for all the ways in which you've been blessed.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."
James 1:17

Happy Thanksgiving!!

One year ago....

It was almost exactly one year ago that Levi was conceived. We wanted another baby, but I don't think that I really thought that the reality of another baby would happen so quickly. Honestly, I thought that November/December was not our month for a + pregnancy test at all. (I didn't even watch for a second line when I took the test! http://snipsnail.blogspot.com/2011/12/baby-2.html) And now, here we are--a family of four. I get to be momma to two of the most precious little boys in the world, and I couldn't possibly be more grateful! It's wild how much can change in just one year. God is so good!

One year ago:
(Levi was the size of this dot ------> . )

Today:

And, just for fun.....

One year ago:

Today:

Wordless Wednesday.

Battle of the Bottle.

As I've mentioned before, Levi will not take a bottle right now. I never had this problem with Nathaniel, so this is new Mommy territory for me. Nate was given a few bottles of formula for supplement when he was born in the hospital, and therefore, bottles were never an issue. He took the Medela bottles because that's what I had in the house, and I never tried another brand. Levi has never had an ounce of formula in his life--a great source of pride to me! But, since he nurses so often still (usually every two or three hours), it limits how far away from him I can get. Obviously, I'm home with him most of the time. On Sundays, we go to church, and I nurse him between Sunday School and the service. When we go shopping, I nurse him in the car. When we go to someone's house, I nurse him under a cover or in a spare room. None of those things are a big deal to me; breastfeeding is a lot easier than carting around and preparing bottles.
But, nursing all the time also means that nobody else can feed Levi. Ever. And, as much as I love and adore my boys, I'd love a little break! A date night with my husband would be awesome! Or, as is the case this weekend, a special baby-free night out with our oldest would be fun! Levi has taken the Medela bottles twice in his lifetime, but we've had no luck recently. And, I can't blame him--expressed milk isn't the right temperature, sucking a bottle isn't nursing, and a silicone nipple certainly isn't Mommy.
After asking for recommendations from friends, I learned that what I've feared isn't abnormal. Lots of babies don't take bottles. Ever. But, we will try a few more times before I give up! I bought a Tommee Tippee Closer To Nature bottle to try (although we haven't had a chance to do so yet). If that doesn't work, I'll probably try the Breastflow bottle by The First Years or an Adiri bottle. Both the Breastflow and Adiri got great reviews from friends, but weren't available in local stores. Since I'd like to find something acceptable before this weekend, ordering from online wasn't really an option for now. I don't want to spend a fortune on bottles just to try a few varieties--especially when I do plan to continue nursing primarily.
Whether we find a bottle that Levi will accept or not, I'm not going to stress about it. I'll leave expressed milk for him while we're gone, and I'll return within three hours (just in case!). My little chunky monkey won't starve, and we'll both enjoy our evening.

3 months.

My little Levi is three months old already! Despite the speed at which the past three months have sped by, it seems as though he's always been a part of our family. He's a jolly little fellow now--always smiling, cooing and laughing! He gets fussy when he's tired or hungry (what baby doesn't?), but is overall a very happy baby.

He loves to watch his big brother play--always keeping an eye on Nate with a big smile. Nate loves his baby brother too--constantly asking to hold him (and Mommy always must take a picture, as per Nate's instruction), sharing his toys, and giving him the sweetest hugs with an "I wuv you!". (So precious I could melt into a puddle on the floor every time he does it!) Levi's other favorite activities include playing in his baby gym and cuddling with Mommy or Daddy.

Levi's hand eye coordination is getting much better. He can reach for toys and grab them now--a fun activity in his baby gym! He has also started holding on to small rattles when we place them in his hands. He can lift his head up well, and doesn't mind tummy time at all. His upper body strength is very good--I've seen him lift his entire upper body off of the floor while on his tummy. No rolling over yet, but he definitely has the strength!

Levi's sleep "schedule" is much better nowadays. He goes to bed around 8:30pm, and usually sleeps until 8 or 9am (waking up twice to eat). During the day, he takes three naps--a short morning nap and evening nap, and a long afternoon nap. Levi has completely set his own schedule to date, and I'm very glad that we're getting to that point. Having a more predictable routine makes it much easier for us.
Although his sleep patterns are emerging, Levi is still easily overstimulated. New sights and sounds are overwhelming to him (especially fluorescent lights), and he has trouble sleeping if we're not at home. Time to go out between three daily naps and nursing sessions is practically nonexistant! When we do leave the house, I usually wear Levi in the Ergo because it's the one place that he might sleep. He hates his carseat, so it's not easy to take him anywhere! The majority of his carseat time is spent screaming, which has led to the "do we really need/want to go there?" question every single time we leave the house.

I am still exclusively breastfeeding Levi. He nurses about every three hours during the daytime, and twice at night. He refuses a bottle right now, which is something that we're working on in an attempt to leave him with a babysitter for longer than an hour or two at a time!

Operation Christmas Child.

Operation Christmas Child is an organization that is very close to my heart. I've been packing shoeboxes for years, and it never gets old! If you've never heard of Operation Christmas Child, I can't wait to tell you about them! "Operation Christmas Child demonstrates God's love to hurting children in a tangible way by partnering with churches worldwide to deliver gift-filled shoe boxes and the Good News of Jesus Christ."
http://www.samaritanspurse.org/index.php/occ
It's simple, but oh so big. Here's what happens: Decide whether you want to make a box for a boy or a girl, then choose an age group (2-4 yr, 5-9 yr, or 10-14 yr). Next, fill a shoebox (or two!) with small gifts that a child will enjoy. Some of my favorite things to include are crayons, stickers, matchbox cars, play jewelry, and a stuffed animal. It's also a good idea to include a few hygiene items, such as toothpaste, a toothbrush, a bar of soap, etc. And, of course, hard candy is always a great idea!

When your box is full, go online to this site, and donate $7 for each box that you've packed. (This donation is to fund your box's journey across the world.) After you donate, you will be able to print a label to attach to your box. (The label has a bar code, and you will eventually receive an email to let you know what country your box ended in!) National Collection Week is November 12-19, so let's get those boxes filled and dropped off ASAP!
You can find an Operation Christmas Child drop-off point near you here. After you drop off your box, there is one thing left to do: pray. Pray for the child who will receive your box, pray for those who deliver your box, and pray for the OCC ministry.

If you've never participated in Operation Christmas Child, I cannot encourage you enough to do so! This is an awesome way to impact a child's life, and it can easily be done with your own children. As we enter this holiday season, let's give thanks for everything that we have--and give back a little to a child who has nothing!

Thursday Randoms.

It's been several days since I've blogged, and I'm back. We've suffered endured the 12 week growth spurt here, and it hasn't been easy. My littlest one had a few miserable days, which resulted in his momma's most frustrating days as a parent yet. I believe that we're on the other end of the "spurt" now, and our sweet life is back. Despite the challenges of the past week, there have been so many precious moments for which I'm thankful:
Eric and I celebrated our fourth anniversary. He brought me a dozen red roses and the sweetest card I've ever received. I love this man who is constantly here for me, supporting me, encouraging me, and most of all, loving me!

I'm thankful for my sweet little boys. Even when we're in the midst of a temper tantrum or a 45-minute bouncing/shushing session, I wouldn't trade it for the world. These precious babies are my everything!

We celebrated my mom's birthday with my family. I am grateful for my mom, who taught me so many of life's lessons. She's always been a constant support and role model in my life, and I don't know where I would be without her. Happy Birthday, Mom!

I made this pumpkin cheesecake, with the help of a certain 2-year-old who loves to mix and pour! It was delicious!

My Christmas shopping for the boys is practically finished. Of course, they're the most important and most fun for whom to shop, so that's that. I'm hoping to be finished with all Christmas shopping/crafting by Thanksgiving!

Mommy Guilt.

Yesterday was hard. Really hard. Why? Mommy guilt. And, a crying baby. But mostly, it was the guilt that made the day tough. I heard the "you're not a good mom" lie in my head over and over again. Why? I am a good mom, and I know it. But, motherhood is hard. What better way for the enemy to discourage us than to tell us we're not good at the one single thing that is most important to us?
Yesterday, Levi was in a "I'm never going to sleep for any period longer than 10 minutes, but then I will cry nonstop because I'm tired" kind of mood, Nate was in an "I'm two years old" kind of mood, and I was just plain tired and cranky. None of those things are particularly out of the ordinary around here, but last night was just too much for me.
We'd gone to church in the morning, and, as usual, I only half-listened to the sermon from the refuge of the nursery whilst feeding/rocking the baby because he still refuses the bottle. Mommy guilt. We arrived home to the aroma of chicken that had been roasting in the crockpot all morning. Delicious? Yes. Acceptable to a two-year-old palate? Not so much. Semi-temper tantrum. During lunch, Levi's seemingly never-ending 10 minute nap/10 minute cry cycle began. Nate went down for his nap, and I attempted to sit down for 10 minutes between cries. But, wait, the kitchen was messy, there's laundry to be done, and is that the baby awake already? So much for a day of rest....
Three hours later, Nate awoke from his nap. He was hungry. And grumpy. Temper tantrum grumpy. I was grumpy. Levi was grumpy. Eric attempted some sort of peace-keeping effort, but his effort was in vain. I yelled at the toddler--for being a toddler. Mommy guilt. We soon had two crying little ones, and a momma on the verge of tears. We stumbled through our evening, trading off on the baby who was still spending the majority of his time crying and NOT sleeping--he's still in a "momma only when I'm crabby" sort of mood! I attempted to make dinner, but couldn't find anything to eat in our [full] freezer. Instead, I pumped a bottle for the baby because all I wanted was a break from him for a few minutes. He didn't want the bottle, and I didn't save any time because I spent the entire time that he refused the bottle in the kitchen crying because what kind of mom wants a break from her precious baby? Mommy guilt. Eventually, I gave in and nursed to calm him down enough to take the bottle. Brief victory. Back to dinner prep.....while Eric attempted to put the baby to sleep. Again. And again. And again. And again.
Finally, while I ate supper with Nate (and Eric's food got cold), Levi fell asleep. And, by "fell asleep", I mean he cried himself to sleep. Mommy guilt. Again, the kitchen was a mess. Three loads of laundry, and none of them had been folded. Nate's bathtime was 10 minutes previous....and the baby was awake. Again. I want into the dark bedroom to attempt to get Levi to sleep. Real sleep this time? Please?? I was begging. Eric did Nate's entire bedtime routine. Once again, Mommy guilt.
Eventually, our house was quiet. I kissed my oldest goodnight, and they both slept. The 10 minute mark passed, and they still slept. I relaxed enough to make myself a cup of tea, and Eric and I collapsed onto the couch.
How can being a momma cause so much joy and love, but also so much guilt and anxiety?
How is it that the hardest job of my entire life is also my favorite? How can my biggest challenge be my tiny baby? It doesn't really matter because it is what it is. They will get older, and this will get easier (I know, I know, it will be harder in other ways...)! Until then, I'll be the very best momma that I can, no matter whether I have time to fold the laundry, cook dinner, or even brush my teeth! This is motherhood, and it is good--no matter what kind of day we had.

On a sidenote, today has been a much better day. Notice that I've taken the time to write this post? That's because TWO little boys took naps simultaneously! (Oh, the luxury!) And, thanks to two particular blog posts for the encouragement that I needed after yesterday! God's timing is so right.

Four years....

Oh, what a difference four years can make in our lives! Four years ago at this time, I was excitedly getting ready for my wedding. I had stayed up way too late the night before (stamping programs with my mom and practicing our father/daughter dance with my dad), and woke up way too early the next morning. The moment that I awoke, I realized with a panic that my earrings had been taken to our new home already. This was a huge deal to me, as the earrings were heirlooms from my grandmother, and they were my "something borrowed" (although she told me to keep them afterward!). I called my soon-to-be-husband, woke him up, and begged him to go get them before the ceremony (he obliged).
After I showered, I met my bridesmaids at the hair salon. Mindless chit-chat kept my nerves away, and I got a salad for lunch. Two bites in, and I knew there was no way I could eat it. I wasn't nervous, but way too excited to eat! We went to the church hours before the ceremony was to begin, and spent our time primping and prepping for my big day.
I felt completely relaxed (albeit very excited) all the way until the ceremony was about to begin. Everyone kept asked me if I was okay, if I was nervous; someone even if I was afraid Eric wouldn't show up! I wasn't afraid of any of those things. I knew he would be waiting for me at the end of that aisle, and I knew we wanted to be married. The only time on my wedding day that I was "nervous" was as I took my father's arm to be escorted down the aisle; he looked at me, and asked, "Are you ready?" It was a loaded question. I was ready to marry the love of my life, but I was suddenly terrified of walking down that aisle with all those sets of eyes focused solely on me. I don't like to be the center of attention, and that's what being a bride is all about! Thankfully, I didn't have to walk that aisle alone, and seeing Eric waiting at the end calmed my fears. The ceremony was a blur, but I know that it resulted in the best thing that had happened in my life thus far. I married my best friend!

After the wedding, Eric and I moved into our very first little home together. As I look back on those memories, it was as if those first two years of marriage were a continuous honeymoon. We both worked a lot, but every spare moment was spent together. We went on date nights every weekend, we spent lazy weekends at home, and we had no responsibilities other than ourselves. It wasn't until we bought our first house, and our first baby was born that the "honeymoon phase" seemed to end. We were responsible for a little life that wasn't our own, and it was a big deal. Parenthood changed our relationship with one another in more than one way, and it wasn't easy.

Eventually, we fell into some sort of a routine as a family. Our little boy grew, and so did our relationship. Then, we decided to add to our family again. Another little boy was born, and he rocked our family dynamic to the core again.

Having a strong relationship while being parents is tough. It might seem like the most sensible thing in the world--and it is. But, that doesn't make it any easier. Our time is now divided between babies when we're together, and that doesn't leave a whole lot of "us" time. Date night are fewer, lazy weekends are nonexistant, and life is made of responsibilities now. By the time both boys are asleep for the night, we hardly have enough energy to flop on the couch and attempt to reduce our 73% full DVR. We are not in the honeymoon phase any longer! But, we are in a good place. Our relationship is continuously growing and changing for the better. We are parents, and that takes teamwork, patience, and most of all, a strong relationship. Four years have given us a whole lot of changes, but I wouldn't give any of it up for the world! We are still best friends, but four years of marriage has made us so much more than that. We are truly halves of a beautiful relationship that has resulted in an amazing little family.

I love you, Eric! Happy Anniversary!!