Letter to my Second Baby.

My Dearest Levi,
I want to take a moment now and let you know how much you are loved--and, Honey, it is so much! There are times that I wonder if worry about how you might feel left out in the future because you are Child #2. You are the youngest--and, someday, you might even be the Middle Child. I don't know what it's like to be a second child, and nor does your daddy. (If you want someone who understands, I know a few uncles and aunts who have some experience in that area!) But, no matter what the stereotype, you are very special to me. Being a mom to two kids is a little more challenging and a lot more busy--but I would never, ever trade either of you for the world! I'm sorry that I don't keep your baby book updated (or even this blog!) or spend as much one-on-one time with you as I'd like. Caring for two kids keeps me busy (in a good way!), and I'll even go as far as to say that I was bored very often when Nate was my only child (even though I didn't know it then!).
You, my darling second child, are the most amazing little fellow! You are sweet and easy-going, not to mention so stinkin' adorable that I can hardly stand it! Your big personality is shining already, and I can't help but smile every time I see you (even when I'm plucking pieces of dog food from your mouth!). Your chubby little thighs and your six perfect little teeth make me swoon. You are the happiest baby--constantly smiling, and your big belly laugh is the best sound in the world. You absolutely adore your big brother--which only makes me love you both more!
As a mom to two young children, it seems that I am constantly feeling as though I've abandoned one of you in favor of the other. That's simply not true; it just feels like it. Since you're both of the ages that you needs lots and lots of attention and time, I am constantly on my toes while caring for you. And, I'll admit that I love it! I love you both, and I love being your momma! You, my boys, are the hardest job that I've ever encountered, but also, by far, the most rewarding. I hope that you never feel that I (or your Daddy) favor one of you over the other, but rather know how incredibly much we love both of you. That being said, yes, your big brother is older, and I'm sure that there will be lots of times that he is allowed to do something that you're not. Unfair? Maybe, but he's got 103 weeks on you, my little one!
I love to the moon and back, my precious Levi!

XOXOXOXOXOX,
Momma

PS-If you're feeling like I'm not paying enough attention to you, it's not really necessary to eat a wilted cactus flower that you may find on the floor. Sure, you'll get my attention--and, it will even warrant my very first call to Poison Control! But, again, it's not really necessary for my attention. Your high pitched shrieking will do just fine in the future when you need me. Please? And, thank you!

Letter to my Two-Year-Old.

My Dearest Nate,
I want to apologize for the way that I've been treating you recently. I've been frustrated and grumpy with you, and in turn, you've been acting out more than normal. I suppose there's a certain amount of "normal" to your behavior these days (After all, you are two!), but it's not something that I'm accustomed to seeing. You've been pushing the limits of practically every rule that you can think of, and it is wearing on me. I'm sorry that I've been yelling at you so much, and I promise to try harder to get through to you in a normal tone. I am sorry for my attitude.....but I'm not sorry for disciplining you. Sweetheart, I know that you don't understand it now, but it is my job to teach you to be obedient. When God gave you to me and Daddy as our little boy, he gave us the very important job of teaching you right and wrong. And, as ridiculous as it sounds, a spank on your tush really does hurt me more than it hurts you. It hurts my heart to see you doing wrong, and it is my job to discipline you. I love you very, very much, and I want you to know the difference between right and wrong. And, as your parent, that means that you will be punished for doing wrong. You are a sweet boy, and you are a good boy. I am proud of you, and I know that you do many more "right" things than "wrong" every day. You are precious to me, and that is why I will continue to scold and use the "time out" chair whenever it is necessary.
I'm sorry for being such a grouch, and I'm sorry that you're not getting as much Mommy Time as you'd like. I'm sorry that your brother takes so much attention away from you, and I'm sorry that you feel the need to act out against him sometimes. All that being said, I do not regret for even a tiny second giving you a sibling. We knew that bringing Baby #2 into your life when you were this young would have both advantages and disadvantages. This jealousy is a disadvantage. But, the love and the adoration that you both so blatantly have for one another is an advantage that far outweighs any jealousy.
Nate, you are a super kid! You are smart and funny and energetic and sweet. You are more awesome than I could have ever dreamed, and I love you far beyond my wildest dreams. I truly am sorry for being a grouchy mommy, and I want you to know that I am certainly not perfect. I can promise you that I will do my very best to be the best momma than I can be to both you and Levi. You guys are the greatest, and I love you to infinity and beyond!

XOXOXOXOX,
Momma

PS. It's after 10:30pm; why are you awake?? I'm fairly certain that you were asleep (or you were strangely quiet for a long time!), and now you're up again. PLEASE GO TO SLEEP!

Day off?

As a mom, I don't get any "days off". And, I'll admit that I don't usually want many days off--I love what I do, I love my kids, and I generally love life. But, a break from it all? Well, sometimes even the best momma needs some time away! And, usually a date night with my husband or just a little time apart from the boys gives me exactly what I need.
I don't know if it's been the weather, or the boys, or the fact that Eric has been working a little extra, or if it's just me--but whatever the reason, I've been craving a day off recently. For the past week, I've been excitedly looking forward to Saturday, when Eric and I had secured my parents for babysitting, and planned a little afternoon date for ourselves. And then, as it turned out, the afternoon wasn't quite as relaxing and rejuvinating as I'd hoping. And it was by no fault of anyone--it simply ended up being more rushed and crowded and noisy than I'd hoped. We spent our afternoon together--and while it was enjoyable, I wasn't quite ready to come back to "mom duty" when it was time.
Sunday was the same way--it was a good day, but nothing spectacular. I was still craving a break, but had resigned myself that it simply wasn't going to happen this weekend. Maybe next week?
This week of school was originally scheduled to be Eric's spring break, but because of a few previous snow days, he now has to work. Then, ironically, yesterday was yet another snow day! And, despite the spring calendar date combined with a few inches of slushy snow on the ground, we had a fabulous day together! The day "off" that I thought I was craving? Well, as it turned out, what I really needed was a fun family day--kids included, no schedules!
By the time we all got up, dressed, and fed, the roads were completely clear, so we decided to make a day of it, and head for Trader Joe's (about an hour away) with the boys. If you know me well, you know that I like schedules and carefully planned itineraries--not surprises, and certainly not unplanned roadtrips with two little boys! I will admit that when we took a little longer than planned to get the boys ready and packed into the car, I considered just calling the whole thing off. I just knew that attempting a trip an hour away in such a last-minute manner was begging for disaster. What about naps? And snacks? And potty breaks?! But, I bit my tongue and resigned myself to a day free from schedules. We piled into the car, and our adventure began...
Before we had kids, Eric and I often drove an hour away for dinner or shopping. We enjoyed our time together in the car--time to talk and be together without anyone interupting. I guess we started our car habit all the way back in high school when we didn't have anywhere else to go and be alone, so we just drove around talking. It's relaxing, fun, and something special that we've always done (albeit often a waste of gasoline, but hey, high schoolers aren't known for their frugality!)
Since we've had kids, car rides aren't exactly the same--they're full of passing around sippy cups, snack/diaper breaks, numerous interuptions, and we certainly never drive around solely for the sake of driving around. Even more so since Levi was born (and began his vocalizing his deep hatred of the carseat)! So, it was with this mindset that we began out trip yesterday--I was eager to go, but dreading the moment that the whole day blew up in our laps. (And, I was sure that something would happen--there is no way we can take a completely unplanned trip without something terrible happening....right?)
As it turned out, we spent the day together completely disaster free! Levi took his morning nap in the car, and we arrived at the store easily. Nate loved riding in the car for an hour--he had ample time to watch the trucks and buses and cars that he so loves! Eric and I talked and talked--with only the occasional "TRUCK! TRUCK!" interuption. We spent almost two hours in Trader Joe's, perusing every single item on their shelves--and buying enough groceries to last us a good long time! By the time we left, both of the boys were getting crabby (and, I was a teensy bit nervous that my expected disaster was impending...). As it turns out, they were just hungry! I nursed Levi, then we stopped for lunch at Max & Erma's. We ate (oh, their tortilla soup!), took a potty break, then piled back into the car with full bellies. Within minutes of being on the road, both boys were asleep--and they stayed asleep until we arrived home!
Eric and I chatted during the trip, and it was as if we were teenagers again--on a day trip to anywhere, but with the addition of our greatest blessings right in the backseat! No disasters--not even a temper tantrum or a potty accident! My "day off" didn't come in the form of a day at the spa or a fancy date night with my husband. Rather, it came in the form of a day out with my family, and a little risk-taking on my part. Maybe, just maybe, I can stop stressing about the unplanned and unexpected because maybe it's not always bad! Maybe the very best days are the ones that turn out exactly opposite of the way that I plan! Maybe the best dates are the ones that have no schedules or reservations or high heels, but involve nursing a baby in the car while awkwardly shielding oneself from a carload of elderly gentlemen enjoying their sandwiches in the adjacent car, and three trips to the public restroom with a toddler who will only pee if promised a chocolate chip cookie.

Eric, thank you for taking us out yesterday! Thank you for assuring me that the boys will be fine, that I will survive, and that we might even have a good day together--even if we miss naptime! Thank you for always being the calm to my crazy, and for being a super dad to our boys. You are the greatest, and I love talking to you in the car!
XOXOXO

Spring 2013!

Happy Spring! It doesn't matter that it's freezing outside, or even that I saw a few snow flurries this morning--because the calendar says that it's SPRING TODAY! We'll see tulips and bunnies and rainbows within the hour, I hope! (Okay, okay, within the next month would be nice....)

Since we've been holed up in the house, I've spent the last two days getting a head start on Spring Cleaning by clearing out/rearranging all of my kitchen cupboards. ("Wait, that expired when?" and "Who thought this should go here?") The boys have kept themselves busy with cars, cars, and more cars! Also, a school bus and a tent. Eric has been going to work, which reminds me of Nate's other recent play. He rides his trike around the house often, but has just recently begun telling me that he's going to work when he does. I always get a big hug and a goodbye kiss before he leaves for "work". Then, he rides off to "school" like Daddy, where he teaches "Spash" and "Frsh". Ironically, Eric teaches Spanish and French (they must be similar, right?). After a hard 3 or 5 minutes of "work", Nate rides his trike back home, where I am rewarded with another big hug and kiss. Love this boy!

Oh, and in other exciting (but semi-old) news, my little Levi is now mobile! (See? I don't even keep this blog updated with the big news anymore....he's obviously the second child.) Levi doesn't crawl yet, but he can scoot, spin, and roll! You'd be surprised how far and how quickly those modes of transportation can move a little guy! I love watching his mind work as he figures out how to get himself to a specific place, and his little personality is really begining to shine. He's silly and content, and just a tiny bit mischievious! (Love this boy too! And, oh that chub!)

Nate, who is still in love with his "Yiyi Baby" has had numerous meltdowns during the past few weeks as he realized that Levi can, indeed, reach all of his toys--including his prized cars. We've been working on the concept of sharing, and it is going as well as can be expected between a 2.5-year-old and a 7-month-old.

Happy Spring!

How to hide like a 2-year-old...

Nate is absolutely obsessed with hiding right now. Every time he hears anyone (namely me or Eric) approaching from another room, his eyes get wide and he whispers, "HIDE!" Then, of course, he hides his little body as fast as he can. He's a quick little guy, and usually very patient. He's honest too; if you're looking for him, and call out,
"Nate, where are you?"
He will immediately answer, "Hide!"
But then, he gets tricky....
I'll say, "Are you in the kitchen?" (while watching him hide in the dining room).
He'll answer, "Uh huh!"
"Are you in the dining room?"
"No!"
"Are you in the living room?"
"Uh huh!"
So funny!

Sometimes he hides well, like in the corner of the living room between a bookshelf and the toy kitchen...

Other times, he hides in places that are a bit more obvious, but still hidden--like under the dining room table....

Then, there are the times that he doesn't have time to run to a hiding place, but decides to hide anyway--usually burying his head in or under cushions. (Why does this remind me of an ostrich...?)

And then, my favorite "hiding spots" are when Nate doesn't have time to hide at all. Not even in the couch! In that brief moment of "panic" as we approach, he will throw his arms over his eyes and exclaim, "HIDE!" Totally inconspicuous...

Thankfully, he's always a good sport when we find him!

What I'm in love with.... (photo edition!)

These chubby little baby feet:

Big brother tickling his toes:

This laugh:

Storytime with Daddy:

Art:

Simple faith and prayers:

Challenge accepted?

Dear Nate,
When I wrote this letter to you two weeks ago, I stated that "I have yet to encounter 'the terrible twos' with you." That wasn't a challenge. Really. Your brother has a right to play on the living room floor without being knocked down or pelted with cars. And, occasionally, I really would like to speak with your daddy without you yelling at us during the conversation. Even the dog has a right to nap without you pulling on his toes. I know you hate the "time-out" chair, but your tush seems to be getting well acquainted with it this week. Please go back to being an abnormally well-behaved 2-year-old this weekend. Thank you.

Love, Mommy

PS- And, since when did you learn to read? That blog was for you to read in a few years...you know, when you absolutely positively wouldn't consider the aforementioned sentence a personal challenge.

One year ago....

It was almost exactly one year ago that Levi was conceived. We wanted another baby, but I don't think that I really thought that the reality of another baby would happen so quickly. Honestly, I thought that November/December was not our month for a + pregnancy test at all. (I didn't even watch for a second line when I took the test! http://snipsnail.blogspot.com/2011/12/baby-2.html) And now, here we are--a family of four. I get to be momma to two of the most precious little boys in the world, and I couldn't possibly be more grateful! It's wild how much can change in just one year. God is so good!

One year ago:
(Levi was the size of this dot ------> . )

Today:

And, just for fun.....

One year ago:

Today:

Watching Them Love.

Eric and I are coming up on our 4th wedding anniversary soon. Before we were married, we dated for several years--and before that, we were good friends. I've loved him for a long time. Nathaniel is 2 years old. I've loved him since long before he was ever born. But now, I love them both a little differently because I get to see them differently.
A new baby changes the whole dynamic of a household, and it's a beautiful thing. I've known Eric as my husband, my partner, my best friend, my other half--but, now I see him in a totally different role: a father, first of one, now of two. He's an amazing daddy, and I get a front row seat to watch daily! Nate was my first baby--the one who made me a mommy. Now, I get to watch him be a big brother--and he's awesome! Watching them love is such an incredible, indescribable thing. I wish there were words to tell you how it feels to watch my husband be the best father that he can be because he loves our boys that much, but there are no words. I wish I could describe the pride and joy that I feel when I see my oldest son loving on his baby brother. And, the fact that the baby saves his biggest smiles for his big brother? Incredible. Being a momma is such an awesome reward, but watching my loves love each other is the ultimate.

Word Explosion!

Nate has been a bit slow (and lot stubborn) with his speech development. He's had a handful of words that he uses regularly for several months, but that's it. I kept hearing about the "word explosion" that would hit suddenly. We waited. And, waited.
Occasionally, he would bust out a new word if he really, really needed to do so (EX: if Mommy and Daddy are talking and ignoring your NEED for ice in your water cup, it might be necessary to start yelling, "IEEESH! IEEESH!" repeatedly).
I knew that Nate was a little behind the charts for his speech abilities, but I wasn't much worried. He's a smart little boy, and I was convinced that his lack of words was more stubborn-related than an actual speech-delay. Our pediatrician discussed the issue with us, and he agreed--but asked us to keep an eye (or an ear?) on the issue. Apparently, Nate was listening to that conversation too, because he decided that now is the time to talk! Within the last week.....well, Hello Word Explosion!!
"kiwi", "baby", "yellow", "blue", "red", "banana", "car", "please", "juice", "egg", "cheese", "sticker", "tree", "sky", "God", "Levi!" (my personal favorite) ....and plenty more that I can't remember right now! I couldn't be prouder of my [bigger] baby boy! Go, Little Guy!!

Loving Two.

I found this poem a few minutes ago, and it really seemed to hit home for me. Obviously, I don't have Baby #2 in my arms yet (and he's a boy!), but I do find myself "worrying" about loving two babies sometimes. I keep telling myself that Nate will love having a sibling (eventually!), and that, in my opinion, a sibling is one of the very best gifts I could ever give him. But, while I wholeheartedly believe both of those things to be true, I can't help but worry about my boy and his transition from Only Child to Big Brother. I know that we'll all have adjustments to make, and I know that everything will work out--and I even know that life will be amazing with two children! But, there's a little part of me that is secretly dreading the moment when my little boy realizes that he isn't the one and only center of our world any longer.


LOVING TWO

I walk along holding your two year old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly, I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: How could I ever love another child as I love you? Then she is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you've never shared me before. I hear you telling me in your own way, "Please love only me." And I hear myself telling you in mine, "I can't." I know, in fact, that I never can again. You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship that we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again. But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I'm afraid to let you see me enjoying her- as though I am betraying you. But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection. More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast. But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two. There are new times -- only now, we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other. I watch how she adores you -- as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of her new accomplishments. And I begin to realize that I haven't taken something from you, I've given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you. I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong. And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you--only differently. And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you'll never share my love. There's enough of that for both of you--you each have your own supply. I love you both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.
-Author Unknown