Loving Two.

I found this poem a few minutes ago, and it really seemed to hit home for me. Obviously, I don't have Baby #2 in my arms yet (and he's a boy!), but I do find myself "worrying" about loving two babies sometimes. I keep telling myself that Nate will love having a sibling (eventually!), and that, in my opinion, a sibling is one of the very best gifts I could ever give him. But, while I wholeheartedly believe both of those things to be true, I can't help but worry about my boy and his transition from Only Child to Big Brother. I know that we'll all have adjustments to make, and I know that everything will work out--and I even know that life will be amazing with two children! But, there's a little part of me that is secretly dreading the moment when my little boy realizes that he isn't the one and only center of our world any longer.


LOVING TWO

I walk along holding your two year old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly, I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: How could I ever love another child as I love you? Then she is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you've never shared me before. I hear you telling me in your own way, "Please love only me." And I hear myself telling you in mine, "I can't." I know, in fact, that I never can again. You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship that we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again. But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I'm afraid to let you see me enjoying her- as though I am betraying you. But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection. More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast. But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two. There are new times -- only now, we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other. I watch how she adores you -- as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of her new accomplishments. And I begin to realize that I haven't taken something from you, I've given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you. I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong. And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you--only differently. And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you'll never share my love. There's enough of that for both of you--you each have your own supply. I love you both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.
-Author Unknown

Baby.

"A baby is a small member of the family that makes love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, the bank-roll smaller, the home happier, the clothes shabbier, the past forgotten and the future worth living for."
-Unknown

Poem.

Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing and butter the bread,
Sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(lullaby, rock-a-bye, Lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(pat-a-cake, darling, and peek-peek-a-boo).
The shopping is not done and there's nothing for stew
And out in the yard there is a hullabaloo.
But I'm playing "Kanga" and this is my "Roo."
Look! Aren't his eyes the most wonderful hue?
(lullaby, rock-a-bye, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
For children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

"Song for a Fifth Child"
Ruth Hulburt Hamilton, 1958

Dear Nathaniel...

"No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you;
Afterall, you're the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside!"