It's gonna be a Christmas to remember...

It's the Christmas season, and I've been extra determined this year. Extra determined to get my shopping finished early, keep the house relatively clean, stay on top of the baking, spend lots of quality family time, and to have an extra super duper holly jolly December! So far, I've done a halfway decent job of keeping up with the "chore" part of the season, but I'll admit that I haven't quite been enjoying it. Our Christmas preparations have been more of a hassle than a joy, and I hate that. It seems as though even the extra special Christmas family events that we've planned have been....less enjoyable than I'd hoped. Our hunt for the perfect Christmas tree, though an overall success, was racked with inconveniences. The house is decorated, but it took almost a week to complete--and I spent more time scolding the boys for touching than encouraging them to help. Gifts are almost all wrapped--but, I did them as quickly as possible during naptimes. And, even our Christmas movie & pizza night last night had a bit of a damper when I realized that I forgot to add yeast to the pizza dough! (Thank goodness for an awesome husband and delicious carry-out pizza!) It just seems as though I'm doing alright with the Christmas preparations...but can't quite get myself into the holiday spirit.

I've simply felt overwhelmed with the whole idea of Christmas. My daily to-do lists aren't bad, but the mere thought of everything I've planned in my mind for the perfect Christmas season is a bit much. I've been more worried about finishing up everything ahead of schedule, and less worried about spending quality time with my family. To-do lists and chores are not the things of which the Christmas season is supposed to be about, yet so often that's exactly what we make them.

Yesterday, I realized something that I knew all along--Christmas isn't about whether or not the kitchen cupboards have been cleaned, or whether or not laundry is caught up. Obviously, I knew that, but sometimes it's easy to forget. Christmas is all about a little baby who came to earth--not in a spotless house to eat Christmas dinner with his extended gift-giving family, but in a cold, dirty barn, where his first-time mother likely labored alone. He came to this damaged and cruel world to save us, not just to tell a cute story about a baby in a manger or to start a holiday about cookies and gifts and trees.

My worrying and nagging about silly preparations aren't going to help anything. (And, of course, the preparations will be finished--we still have 9 days, after all!) I began thinking about this time last Christmas, and how incredibly imperfect, yet completely perfect it was. My preparations were far less than my idealist planning, yet my perspective was changed. I realized that my perfect Christmas doesn't necessarily mean that everything is done; it simply means that we're together as a family celebrating His birth. A few days ago, Levi caught a little cold--one that seems to have no other symptoms than a nagging cough when he's laying down. As much as I cringe every time I hear my baby hacking in his bed, I am truly grateful. I am thankful for this cough that reminds me of last year--when my perspective was altered, and I knew that all we really needed for Christmas was family. I am thankful for an amazing God who loves us enough to send His Son, and who loves me enough to remind me when I most need it. I am thankful for my sweet, healthy family. And, I am thankful for the joy that is Christmas preparation--no matter whether I finish or not, there is joy in readying for the celebration of our Savior's birth!


It's time now to get into the Christmas spirit--not only to make cookies and wrap gifts, but to truly remember the true spirit of Christmas. It's time to revel in the awesome LOVE that God demonstrated when he sent his one and only son to save us. It's time to stop worrying, and start trusting! Merry Christmas!!

Explaining the tough stuff.....

Nate is a typical three-year-old who chatters nonstop and asks "why?" approximately 327 times daily. I love talking to him and explaining things, and we have had some hilarious conversations! But recently, a few of our conversations have left me feeling a bit inadequate and unsure of my own answers. How exactly am I supposed to explain things like poverty or death to a three-year-old who has no concept of a life less blessed than ours?
As Christmas is fast approaching, we have been preparing with one of our favorite pre-holiday traditions: packing boxes for Operation Christmas Child. For me, it's important that the boys be involved in the packing of our boxes to learn about giving. And, as we've carefully selected toys, school/art supplies, and candies for the boxes, I've purposefully made mention of the children who would be receiving the gifts repeatedly because I want to make sure that the boys are 100% clear that this cool stuff is not for them. And, it's worked just fine. Nate eagerly talks about the little boys "far, far away" who might play with the toy cars and stuffed monkey. More than once, he's asked me "why?", and I've always told him that we send these gifts to children because they aren't going to receive any other gifts. And, that makes perfect sense to him. Why on earth wouldn't we send presents to a kid halfway across the world if he/she isn't going to get anything else? (Actually, it makes perfect sense to me too...)
Today, our conversation got a bit more personal... I was writing a letter to Yonathan, the little boy from El Salvador whom we sponsor through Compassion. Nate asked me a few questions about him, and why I was mailing him the racecar and Christmas stickers. I explained that Yonathan might not get any other gifts for Christmas, and that I thought he might like some stickers. Immediately, Nate sweetly and eagerly suggested that we send him one of our Operation Christmas Child boxes! I gently told him that we couldn't do that (though I dearly wish we could!), although Yonathan may very well receive an Operation Christmas Child box (and who knows? It really could be ours!).
As we continued talking about Yonathan, I pulled out several of his old letters and drawings to show Nate. The crayoned pictures of cars and boats and birds grabbed his attention, and he spent several minutes leafing through the pile. He came to a carefully drawn portrait of three people--Yonathan, his mother, and his baby brother, Cristian. He asked who they were, and I told him....while being acutely aware of the fact that the very next letter in that pile told us of the baby's death. As Nate continued to ask about Yonathan and his family, I told him that Cristian lives in Heaven now with Jesus. It was our first discussion about death, and I wasn't really sure what else to tell him. Predictably, he next question was, "why?" And, I had no answer. I simply explained that I don't know. He accepted the answer, and moved on. But, my adult mind still wasn't satisfied. How do I explain to him that our home and our food and our healthcare and our freedom, and even the very lives of our family members are luxuries denied to millions in this world? For now, I won't. His innocence is beautiful, and I feel no obligation to change it. Eventually, he will understand, and today was only just the beginning of that understanding. He will continue to ask questions, and someday, he might even come face to face with real poverty. It's a sobering thought, but it's reality. For now, I love my boys too much to explain to them how much they truly are blessed beyond measure. But, when they're older? Well, I'll love them too much to let them continue in their naivety. When will that day come? I have no idea, but I know it's a long time away...and I'm more than okay with that.

(Disclaimer - I began writing this post a few weeks ago, but only just now finished it up. That's why our OCC boxes weren't quite packed yet; I assure you that they were finished on time, and are now on their way to their destination(s)!)

5 Years!

Five years ago, I married my very best friend in the world. Since then, we've had ups and downs, highs and lows, and most importantly, each other. We've grown as a family, we've learned how to be parents (lots of trial and error!), and we've seen our love multiplied a hundred times over. We've had some crazy rides, and I am so excited to just to keep on doing what we're doing and see what God has in store for us next!

I love you so very much, Eric! Thank you for being my husband, for caring for our family, for being an awesome daddy, for working hard, for supporting my dreams, for encouraging us, for persevering, for loving both of our boys and me, and for serving our awesome God. You are a great man, and I am honored to be your wife! Thank you for the past five years, and I look forward to at least 100 more together! :) I love you, and happy anniversary!

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Most years, I spend a day or two writing up a nice little anniversary blog entry with just the right amount of mush and sappiness, usually combined with lots of old photos and tidbits. This year, I spent most of my blogging energy for the week on yesterday's [record-breaking long!] post. I love my husband dearly, but haven't mustered the energy to romance him via blog this afternoon. If you want any more of my sappy sweet blogging, you're going to have to check out these past anniversary entries.....2010, 2011, and 2012!

All because of a little cheese.....

My Dearest Nathaniel,
I need to write this letter to explain something to you, and I very much hope that you read it someday. You might not remember the things that I'm talking about by then--but you might; I know that I will. You are the Big Brother to an adorable little dude. Levi is an amazing little guy who is learning so very many things right now--and he's too stinkin' cute while he does it! It is often that I'll smile and clap for him, cheer him on, or tell Daddy to watch him. He is learning, growing, and way too cute for his own good--and we are incredibly proud of him! You, like any big brother are very often jealous.
Nate, I want you to hear this loud and clear: WE ARE SO VERY, VERY PROUD OF YOU! You are an amazing and incredible boy! You are talented and sweet and adorable, and you have surprised me with your accomplishments more times than I can count. There is no person, thing, or accomplishment in this world for which I am more proud than of you and your brother. Truly. I think that you know that, but it's hard to remember sometimes when it's the baby who's getting the praise. And, who could blame you? You're only three years old! I'm sorry that you feel left out sometimes, and I will try harder to point out more of your own accomplishments.
Nate, there is one thing in particular for which I am constantly amazed by, and I am truly so proud of you for. It is your obvious love and adoration for your baby brother. Oh sure, there's some brotherly bickering thrown in for variety, but the two of you are really an inseparable pair.
Even at this early age, I see you filling your "Big Brother" role around the house by looking out for Levi, helping him along, and always including him in your requests. Always, always you include your "Yiyi".
"Mommy, me and Yiyi have a snack, please?"
"Me and Yiyi watch a movie?"
"Me and Yiyi go play outside?"
"Me and Yiyi.....?"
The questions are endless, but they're always requests for "me and Yiyi". My heart melts when I hear you request a treat for your little brother who likely wouldn't even notice if he was left out sometimes. I've tried to remember when you started this, but I can't. There was never a time when I had to prod you to include your brother; he's just always been a part of your life, and you don't leave him out. You are amazing!
Today, while I was making quesadillas for lunch, you asked me for a slice of cheese. As always, you asked for a piece each for you and Yiyi. Like I often do, I sliced two chunks of cheese off, and handed them to you. Normally, I try to make the pieces of cheese exactly the same size (for obvious reasons); today, I wasn't paying much attention, and they were not even. Like, not even close to being even. Not a big deal, I thought, Levi will never know that his slice is smaller. Right? I watched you hurry over to your brother, then pause and look at the two pieces of cheese. You hesitated for just the slightest moment, and I knew that you saw the difference. And then, you gave that bigger piece of cheese to Yiyi Baby.
Oh Nate, I could have cried right there, I was so proud of you! What a generous and kind thing to do for your brother! You might be thinking now, "Okay, Mom, it was just a little bit of cheese....so what?" It was so much more than cheese, my dearest, it was an act of selflessness for your little brother--one that you didn't think anyone would ever even know about. (You never mentioned it to me at all!) For a three-year-old, it was a BIG DEAL. And, I am so very, very proud of you!
Nathaniel, I might not clap every time you finish a bowl of oatmeal, and I might not snap photos of you every time you walk around with a blanket on your head....but that doesn't in a million years mean that I'm not so proud of you that I could bust! It simply means that you are older, and your accomplishments are more mature and grown up. You are an incredibly kind and sweet little boy. I love you! Your love for your brother only makes me love you more, and I pray that you both remain as close as you are right now for always.
I love you to the moon and back,
MomMom

Worry?

Are you a worrier? I am. It's something that I've struggled with for most of my life--and even more so since becoming a momma! One of my favorite passages is Matthew 6:25-34, where we are assured that our worry is in vain. God provides all that we need--and, really, what do we accomplish by worrying? If you're familiar with this scripture, you know that it describes the birds and flowers that do not worry or even work, yet are continuously taken care of by our Creator.

This summer, I've had a beautiful reminder of this passage in a flowerbox on my deck. This darling little red petunia sprouted about two months ago, and has been continuously blooming ever since--sometimes with two or three blooms at a time! I haven't ever watered it or fertilized it--nor did I plant it! In fact, I didn't plant a single thing in that flowerbox this year because I've always had such problems keeping plants alive in it!

I did have petunias in that flower box last year, but petunias are annuals, meaning that they don't typically reseed themselves. After a bit of investigation, I've learned that petunias that do happen to reseed and sprout are often scrawny and without blooms. Like I said, my little petunia has produced countless flowers all summer! What an awesome reminder of the care that our Lord gives even a little plant. Every time that I glance out our glass door and spot the cheery red blooms, I am comforted by the reminder that God is in control, he will provide all that we need--and that we are so much more important that a little plant!

After enjoying my petunia all summer, I decided to write this quick blog entry to share with you. Of course, I snapped a few photos (above) to include. Last night, I stepped out onto the deck, and was surprised to find another flower growing in the box. Next to my petunia, there is a little pink impatien growing! How did it get there? My best guess is those birds of the air or the wind--with a little divine intervention, of course! I do have an impatien plant in a pot on the deck--but, it's several feet away from the flowerbox. Nevertheless, no matter how the plants were seeded, I know that we have an awesome God who cares more than enough for us! I don't have to worry, and I am so grateful for these two beautiful reminders. How has God reminded you not to worry?

Someday....

My Precious Boys,
Someday, you won't be so little....and, I can't really decide whether I like that fact or not. Nevertheless, it's a fact; life goes on, and little boys grow up. I know that I will miss you at these ages and sizes, but I'm also so excited to get to know the bigger you(s). There are so many things about you both right now that I don't want to ever forget, and yet so many things that I can't wait to see.

I will miss the way that you talk now, Nate. I love the way that you always say Me and Him and Her, instead of I and He and She. I like the way that you can't say Rs or Ls properly, and I adore the "Oh wow!" that comes from your mouth 100x/day. I like how you get over-the-moon excited about the little things in life like taking walks and going outside to play. (You even tell me, "Me escited!") I love the way that you run up and give me hugs at the most random times, and that you still only want me when you're hurt or grumpy. I love your laugh. I love that helping me in the kitchen is one of your favorite things--especially when we use the mixer! I love your passion for cars, and your interest in all things vehicle-related. I love your sweet, shy smile, your dimples, and your funny little toes. You're so smart and inquisitive, but also shy and careful. I adore your relationship with your little brother--the way that you bring him toys (often to keep him away from whatever you're playing with), gently pat him when he cries, and snuffle on his toes to make him laugh. I love your adoration for books, and I will so miss reading stories to you someday. I love the way that you beam with pride over your accomplishments, and the way that you try so hard to make me and Daddy happy. You're an all-around amazing kid, and I love you to the moon and back!

My little Levi, I will miss your baby chub. Those roly poly legs and that round little tummy make me swoon. I love your wispy baby hair, and the way that you scrunch up your nose when you're trying to be funny. I love the way that you wave, and the way that you say "nyum, nyum, nyum, nyum!" when you're eating. I love that you are so determined and full of perseverance. I love your laugh. I will miss nursing you to sleep at night, and the way that you wake yourself up giggling at your own burps. (You're definitely a boy!) I love your cuddles and your adventurous demeanor. I love the way that you crawl everywhere as quickly as you can, and climb everything within reach. You are such a little explorer, and I love your fascination with the world. I love the way you wave at yourself in the mirror, and throw your arms up to show me how you're "SO BIG"! I love the way you say Mama, and I love the way that you beam with pride when you say a new word. Your personality is so big for such a little guy, and you impress me every single day with your creativity.

My sweet, sweet little darling boys, you are both such a joy. You are our greatest blessing, and we cannot imagine life without either of you. You're so perfect for our family--each in your own way. I love being with both of you--together and apart. I love your voices and your humor and the sound of your laughter. (Oh, your laughs!) I love that God has blessed with with you, and I couldn't ask for better (or cuter!) sons. I love both of you forever and always, no matter what.

XOXOXOXOX,
Momma

Vacation 2013.

Since we've been back home for a week now, I think it's time to share some vacation photos with you! We went to our favorite vacation spot, Lakeside, Ohio again this year. Our family has vacationed in Lakeside for years, and it's like a second home to me--a really fun second home! I love watching my children thrill in the same Lakeside fun and excitement that I loved as a child (and still do!). Our boys are the fifth generation of our family (on my dad's side) to visit Lakeside, and we plan to keep up the tradition for many, many more years to come! This year was especially fun, as Lakeside recently added a new Splash Park for the kids! We had gorgeous weather all week, but it was super hot (heat advisories most days!), so we made good use of the new pool and splash pad! We had a wonderful week with my parents and brothers, and can't wait to do it all over again next year!


Until next year!

Letter to my Second Baby.

My Dearest Levi,
I want to take a moment now and let you know how much you are loved--and, Honey, it is so much! There are times that I wonder if worry about how you might feel left out in the future because you are Child #2. You are the youngest--and, someday, you might even be the Middle Child. I don't know what it's like to be a second child, and nor does your daddy. (If you want someone who understands, I know a few uncles and aunts who have some experience in that area!) But, no matter what the stereotype, you are very special to me. Being a mom to two kids is a little more challenging and a lot more busy--but I would never, ever trade either of you for the world! I'm sorry that I don't keep your baby book updated (or even this blog!) or spend as much one-on-one time with you as I'd like. Caring for two kids keeps me busy (in a good way!), and I'll even go as far as to say that I was bored very often when Nate was my only child (even though I didn't know it then!).
You, my darling second child, are the most amazing little fellow! You are sweet and easy-going, not to mention so stinkin' adorable that I can hardly stand it! Your big personality is shining already, and I can't help but smile every time I see you (even when I'm plucking pieces of dog food from your mouth!). Your chubby little thighs and your six perfect little teeth make me swoon. You are the happiest baby--constantly smiling, and your big belly laugh is the best sound in the world. You absolutely adore your big brother--which only makes me love you both more!
As a mom to two young children, it seems that I am constantly feeling as though I've abandoned one of you in favor of the other. That's simply not true; it just feels like it. Since you're both of the ages that you needs lots and lots of attention and time, I am constantly on my toes while caring for you. And, I'll admit that I love it! I love you both, and I love being your momma! You, my boys, are the hardest job that I've ever encountered, but also, by far, the most rewarding. I hope that you never feel that I (or your Daddy) favor one of you over the other, but rather know how incredibly much we love both of you. That being said, yes, your big brother is older, and I'm sure that there will be lots of times that he is allowed to do something that you're not. Unfair? Maybe, but he's got 103 weeks on you, my little one!
I love to the moon and back, my precious Levi!

XOXOXOXOXOX,
Momma

PS-If you're feeling like I'm not paying enough attention to you, it's not really necessary to eat a wilted cactus flower that you may find on the floor. Sure, you'll get my attention--and, it will even warrant my very first call to Poison Control! But, again, it's not really necessary for my attention. Your high pitched shrieking will do just fine in the future when you need me. Please? And, thank you!

Letter to my Two-Year-Old.

My Dearest Nate,
I want to apologize for the way that I've been treating you recently. I've been frustrated and grumpy with you, and in turn, you've been acting out more than normal. I suppose there's a certain amount of "normal" to your behavior these days (After all, you are two!), but it's not something that I'm accustomed to seeing. You've been pushing the limits of practically every rule that you can think of, and it is wearing on me. I'm sorry that I've been yelling at you so much, and I promise to try harder to get through to you in a normal tone. I am sorry for my attitude.....but I'm not sorry for disciplining you. Sweetheart, I know that you don't understand it now, but it is my job to teach you to be obedient. When God gave you to me and Daddy as our little boy, he gave us the very important job of teaching you right and wrong. And, as ridiculous as it sounds, a spank on your tush really does hurt me more than it hurts you. It hurts my heart to see you doing wrong, and it is my job to discipline you. I love you very, very much, and I want you to know the difference between right and wrong. And, as your parent, that means that you will be punished for doing wrong. You are a sweet boy, and you are a good boy. I am proud of you, and I know that you do many more "right" things than "wrong" every day. You are precious to me, and that is why I will continue to scold and use the "time out" chair whenever it is necessary.
I'm sorry for being such a grouch, and I'm sorry that you're not getting as much Mommy Time as you'd like. I'm sorry that your brother takes so much attention away from you, and I'm sorry that you feel the need to act out against him sometimes. All that being said, I do not regret for even a tiny second giving you a sibling. We knew that bringing Baby #2 into your life when you were this young would have both advantages and disadvantages. This jealousy is a disadvantage. But, the love and the adoration that you both so blatantly have for one another is an advantage that far outweighs any jealousy.
Nate, you are a super kid! You are smart and funny and energetic and sweet. You are more awesome than I could have ever dreamed, and I love you far beyond my wildest dreams. I truly am sorry for being a grouchy mommy, and I want you to know that I am certainly not perfect. I can promise you that I will do my very best to be the best momma than I can be to both you and Levi. You guys are the greatest, and I love you to infinity and beyond!

XOXOXOXOX,
Momma

PS. It's after 10:30pm; why are you awake?? I'm fairly certain that you were asleep (or you were strangely quiet for a long time!), and now you're up again. PLEASE GO TO SLEEP!

Day off?

As a mom, I don't get any "days off". And, I'll admit that I don't usually want many days off--I love what I do, I love my kids, and I generally love life. But, a break from it all? Well, sometimes even the best momma needs some time away! And, usually a date night with my husband or just a little time apart from the boys gives me exactly what I need.
I don't know if it's been the weather, or the boys, or the fact that Eric has been working a little extra, or if it's just me--but whatever the reason, I've been craving a day off recently. For the past week, I've been excitedly looking forward to Saturday, when Eric and I had secured my parents for babysitting, and planned a little afternoon date for ourselves. And then, as it turned out, the afternoon wasn't quite as relaxing and rejuvinating as I'd hoping. And it was by no fault of anyone--it simply ended up being more rushed and crowded and noisy than I'd hoped. We spent our afternoon together--and while it was enjoyable, I wasn't quite ready to come back to "mom duty" when it was time.
Sunday was the same way--it was a good day, but nothing spectacular. I was still craving a break, but had resigned myself that it simply wasn't going to happen this weekend. Maybe next week?
This week of school was originally scheduled to be Eric's spring break, but because of a few previous snow days, he now has to work. Then, ironically, yesterday was yet another snow day! And, despite the spring calendar date combined with a few inches of slushy snow on the ground, we had a fabulous day together! The day "off" that I thought I was craving? Well, as it turned out, what I really needed was a fun family day--kids included, no schedules!
By the time we all got up, dressed, and fed, the roads were completely clear, so we decided to make a day of it, and head for Trader Joe's (about an hour away) with the boys. If you know me well, you know that I like schedules and carefully planned itineraries--not surprises, and certainly not unplanned roadtrips with two little boys! I will admit that when we took a little longer than planned to get the boys ready and packed into the car, I considered just calling the whole thing off. I just knew that attempting a trip an hour away in such a last-minute manner was begging for disaster. What about naps? And snacks? And potty breaks?! But, I bit my tongue and resigned myself to a day free from schedules. We piled into the car, and our adventure began...
Before we had kids, Eric and I often drove an hour away for dinner or shopping. We enjoyed our time together in the car--time to talk and be together without anyone interupting. I guess we started our car habit all the way back in high school when we didn't have anywhere else to go and be alone, so we just drove around talking. It's relaxing, fun, and something special that we've always done (albeit often a waste of gasoline, but hey, high schoolers aren't known for their frugality!)
Since we've had kids, car rides aren't exactly the same--they're full of passing around sippy cups, snack/diaper breaks, numerous interuptions, and we certainly never drive around solely for the sake of driving around. Even more so since Levi was born (and began his vocalizing his deep hatred of the carseat)! So, it was with this mindset that we began out trip yesterday--I was eager to go, but dreading the moment that the whole day blew up in our laps. (And, I was sure that something would happen--there is no way we can take a completely unplanned trip without something terrible happening....right?)
As it turned out, we spent the day together completely disaster free! Levi took his morning nap in the car, and we arrived at the store easily. Nate loved riding in the car for an hour--he had ample time to watch the trucks and buses and cars that he so loves! Eric and I talked and talked--with only the occasional "TRUCK! TRUCK!" interuption. We spent almost two hours in Trader Joe's, perusing every single item on their shelves--and buying enough groceries to last us a good long time! By the time we left, both of the boys were getting crabby (and, I was a teensy bit nervous that my expected disaster was impending...). As it turns out, they were just hungry! I nursed Levi, then we stopped for lunch at Max & Erma's. We ate (oh, their tortilla soup!), took a potty break, then piled back into the car with full bellies. Within minutes of being on the road, both boys were asleep--and they stayed asleep until we arrived home!
Eric and I chatted during the trip, and it was as if we were teenagers again--on a day trip to anywhere, but with the addition of our greatest blessings right in the backseat! No disasters--not even a temper tantrum or a potty accident! My "day off" didn't come in the form of a day at the spa or a fancy date night with my husband. Rather, it came in the form of a day out with my family, and a little risk-taking on my part. Maybe, just maybe, I can stop stressing about the unplanned and unexpected because maybe it's not always bad! Maybe the very best days are the ones that turn out exactly opposite of the way that I plan! Maybe the best dates are the ones that have no schedules or reservations or high heels, but involve nursing a baby in the car while awkwardly shielding oneself from a carload of elderly gentlemen enjoying their sandwiches in the adjacent car, and three trips to the public restroom with a toddler who will only pee if promised a chocolate chip cookie.

Eric, thank you for taking us out yesterday! Thank you for assuring me that the boys will be fine, that I will survive, and that we might even have a good day together--even if we miss naptime! Thank you for always being the calm to my crazy, and for being a super dad to our boys. You are the greatest, and I love talking to you in the car!
XOXOXO

Forgotten: a lesson for momma.

Wenesday nights are unusually quiet around here. Eric and Nate go to AWANA Club at our church, and Levi usually takes an evening nap. I am left with my thoughts and a toy-strewn living room. This particular evening, I was straightening up, when I noticed Nate's sippy cup of water sitting on the end table. He'd forgotten it, and I felt an immediate pang in my gut. Why? Because I'm his mother, and I want to make sure that everything is perfect for him. I don't want him to ever forget his water because I want to be absolutely, positively certain that he's never thirsty! Yeah, there's a drinking fountain about 8 feet from the door of his classroom. Sure, he can drink out of a little dixie cup like the other kids during snacktime. And, sure, I know that he's having juicy mandarin oranges for snack. And, let's face it, even if he is thirsty, an hour and a half isn't going to dehydrate him. And, hey, no water to drink lessens the likelyhood of a potty accident!
But still, no matter how many logical things I tell myself, I hate that he forgot his drink! I know that I'm a little crazy and a lot overprotective of my boys, but they're my kids! This momma love is something fierce and wild--far beyond my comprehension before I felt it. Without a doubt, I would do anything for my children. Anything. And, sometimes that anything isn't fun--it involves time-outs and no treats and even the occasional swat on the tush. But, it also involves snuggling sweet babies, and getting an "I wuv you, Momma" at bedtime, and baking birthday cakes, and wrapping the perfect car on Christmas Eve in eager anticipation of his face when he opens it. And, whether I like it or not, motherhood involves letting these little ones grow up. And, as they grow and become independent, they will learn lessons on their own. Maybe a few of those lessons will sting a bit. Maybe they'll even forget their drinks! And, even though I can't take away every bit of pain from their lives, I can be here for them. Always. I'll be here to hug them and kiss away the boo-boos. I'll be here to listen and to talk and to comfort, and to offer a drink of water--just in case they're thirsty when they get home!