Milestones.

5 months and 2 weeks. That's how old my baby is today. And, he has never rolled over on his own. Never ever. And, I'm okay with that! It's taken me a little bit of time to be okay with it, but I am!

Like, I suspect, most new mothers, I've got a plethora of books about babies and their development. Since I worked at the daycare, I actually have an infant/toddler specialist certification to my name. That means that I took a 12 week course about babies, the way that they grow and learn, and the ways to take care of and teach them. Sure, I know all about babies and developmental timelines! I also know that no two babies develop at the same rate, or even in the same order. We accept that we're all different, so why must our babies be like little robots crawling and popping up teeth on specific, pre-determined dates? I understand that developmental milestones are in place for a reason; if some are not reached {by a certain age}, there may be reason for concern. I get that, I do. Which is why I worried about Nathaniel. It almost seems silly to me now that I've spent days with this little unreached milestone nagging at the back of my mind while we play rattles, do tummy time, and read stories.

Nathaniel has reached every single other milestone in the books with lots of time to spare, but he just would not roll over! I tried pulling interesting toys out of his line of vision. I tried tickling his neck. I tried extra tummy time. I tried pushing him onto his side, and letting him pull the rest of the way over (he can do that, and he can roll to his side...he just won't do both at the same time!). I was so frustrated. And, I'll admit, worried.
I googled "baby won't roll over" and "5 month baby does not roll" and "encouraging baby to roll" about 100 times each. And, the other day, as I searched for something on the internet that magically could make my baby become a super-roller, I realized something. There were lots of people in my Google search who were asking the same question that I was. Wait, so that means that Nate is not the only 5 month old baby who won't roll over?! As I realized this, I scrolled through questions from hundreds of other worried mothers, then I got to the answers. One baby rolled when he was 10 months old. One baby crawled before he rolled. One baby skipped rolling AND crawling, but he can walk and run and roll now at 2 years! And, you know what? Not one person had a child who was at any sort of a disadvantage growing up because he was a "late roller" as a baby.
As I read, I became okay with the fact that Nathaniel isn't rolling yet. Of course, he will roll over eventually, and there is nothing that I can do to force him now. Encouraging answers filled my mind, and then I read one last reply before clicking the X at the top of my page. A young mother, probably only 16 or 17, had this to say to a worried mom: "Don't worry about written milestones! Your precious, beautiful baby will roll over when he is ready!!" It hit me like a load of bricks. Nathaniel will roll over when he is ready (and who cares when that is?!); he is absolutely so precious and beautiful to me, no matter what! I love him, and I don't care when/if he rolls! To me, he is perfect. Why was I wasting so much time worrying and reading when I could be playing with my baby? I felt ridiculous. My baby boy truly is fine. As a matter of fact, he's more than fine; he's precious and beautiful and perfect! His milestones are exactly that--his milestones, and they will be reached when he is ready!
We all want our children to be the stars of the class! We want them to be the first one to talk, crawl, and walk. We want our babies to reach their milestones at least a month early (and then to show off their skills to the other babies' mothers!). Why? Why, so often, must life revolve around showing off? Why must babies be pressured to perform for the sake of the parents? I'm not saying that developmental milestones are not important, but I am saying that they are not concrete. Babies are individuals who grow up differently. And, trust me, they will all grow up quickly, so don't miss it!
Ever since I found out that I was pregnant, I've been reading books about my baby. I read What to Expect When You're Expecting and The Pregnancy Bible weekly throughout my pregnancy. I loved learning how my baby was growing and developing, and I especially loved the photos and true-scaled sketches. It was fascinating. Since Nathaniel was born, I've continued reading about him in What to Expect During the First Year and Your Baby's First Year. I even get a weekly email about what my baby might be doing each week! And, it's cool to know that Nathaniel is probably beginning to recognize his own name or that he will enjoy his touch & feel books now. I'm not bashing these sorts of developmental timelines in any way because I really do enjoy them myself! But, aren't these the exact things that made me (and hundreds of other mothers) worry? Needless worry because our babies didn't quite measure up to the "ideal baby" in the book? I hate that. I hate that I even typed that my baby didn't "measure up", because he does! He does measure up {and even surpasses!} all the other babies in the world! (Yes, I am his mommy and a little biased, but so what? That's what mommies are for!)
My son is perfect. He doesn't roll yet, but I don't care. He's beautiful and precious and amazing. I am so proud of him, and there's not a thing in this world that could break that!

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb." Psalm 139:13
"I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him." 1 Samuel 1:27