Mom behind the camera.

My camera has about a million pictures of my kids saved on it. And, the computer? Well, there's got to be at least 10 zillion photos of the boys there! I take pictures of them playing...


and eating....


and sleeping...


and just plain being cute....


It doesn't matter if they're grumpy or happy or dressed up or even wearing pants!




But, you know what never seems to make it into the photos? Me. And, on the rare occasion that someone takes a picture of me, I usually don't like it. My hair is always mussed, or I'm not wearing any concealer on that zit, or I look fat. Since I spend most of my days at home chasing babies and cleaning and cooking, I am most often clad in yoga pants and t-shirts. (And, we all know that "yoga pants" is simply a fancy term for "stretchy comfortable pants"; I don't even do yoga!) I don't wear makeup on a daily basis, and I'm lucky if my teeth are brushed--let alone my hair!
In all honesty, I avoid getting in front of the camera most days. My boys are cute every day, but their momma? Not so much.
And then I read this article: The Mom Stays In The Picture by Allison Tate. And, oh, what she writes is so true and so poignant. My boys don't care what I look like; they simply care that I'm their momma.
I don't remember my own mother's flaws when I was a child (although I'm sure she thought she had them), but I do remember spending time with her. I remember helping her plant flower bulbs, and learning my way around the kitchen with her, and proudly presenting her with bouquets of wild violets. I remember that I knew she loved me and was proud of me. When I look at pictures of us together from all those years ago, I simply see my mommy--a beautiful woman who was/is an amazing mother.


And, so after this realization that I might not ever look like this mom or that mom, I decided that it doesn't matter. I am their momma, and that is enough. I want them to have photos of me with them right now--despite my extra baby weight and the circles under my eyes. Then last night, when I snapped a few pictures of them together right before bedtime, and Nate patted the spot on the floor between, and said, "Momma, right here?" I hesitated for just the briefest moment; I definitely wasn't "ready" for a photo session! But, then I remembered that it doesn't matter. This is what I look like now, and this is how my boys will remember now. Am I perfect? No, but I am still their momma. And, this is our perfect reality.