Lazy boy?

Within the past week, my little son has been called stubborn, lazy, and spoiled because he doesn't crawl. All three accusations have come from different people, and, as is my way, I've tried to ignore them. But, while I thought that I was just letting the comments slide off my surface, there was a tiny part inside that really let them get to me. Nathaniel doesn't crawl. Yet. He's nine months and two weeks old, and he doesn't know how to crawl. So what? I know that "the average age for a baby to crawl is between eight and twelve months." That means that Nate still has two months and two weeks before he's behind the "average" baby. But, the more that people act like my baby's lack of crawling was his/my fault, the more I believed them.

After Nathaniel was a "late bloomer" in the rolling department, I don't know why I'm surprised that he's not on the move yet. He tries, and he works hard. He is not lazy! He doesn't know that he can move on his own yet. He can push his entire upper body off of the floor, he can pop his little bottom into the air, he can scoot around the entire room in reverse, and he can spin around like a top on his belly. He cannot move forward yet, but he will. In his own time, he will reach this milestone when he's developmentally ready--just like he has all of the rest.

He hates being on his belly, which is why I haven't pushed him. Maybe he is "spoiled", but that's why I'm at home right now! I think that, to a certain extent, babies should be spoiled. We don't do a whole lot of tummy time around here. And, I started to blame myself. Was Nathaniel not crawling simply because I wasn't giving him ample time to practice?

So, yesterday, I decided to remedy the situation. I got out a sheet to cover the carpet (it scratches his knees when he pops up and down over and over), I pulled out some new toys for incentives, I rolled up a towel for leverage (teaching tool for crawling, courtesy of Google), and we went to work. We spent almost an hour on the floor, and Nathaniel hated {almost} every minute of it! He scooted backwards and sideways, I clapped and cheered and urged him on, and he fussed for the majority of the time.

This morning, we tried again. I added a pile of cereal and my cell phone to the incentive row. I left the room, and peeked around a corner to see if the fussing stopped when I was out of sight (it did for a brief moment!). And, do you know what the results of our crawling bootcamp were? (Hint: I'm not the mother of champion crawler yet!) We ended with a bawling baby, and a momma blinking back tears of her own. It's not my fault that Nate can't crawl, and it's not his fault either--it's not anybody's fault because it's not a fault at all! He's not being stubborn; he just cannot do it yet!

While Nathaniel might be a little slow (not behind, because we're still very within the "normal" range, mind you!) in the gross motor skills area, I am noticing something else. He is excelling in his fine motor skills!

Not only does he pick up his toys and turn them over to examine them, he often uses his index finger to twirl the wheels of toy cars. He spins the rotating part of his rattle over and over. He pushes buttons on phones (toys or real!) with his thumbs. He can feed himself individual pieces of puffed rice cereal. He's a very smart boy! But, nobody asks me if my boy can use his pincer grasp yet; they want to know if he's crawling. And, when I tell them that he isn't, I usually get a bit of judgement with a side of advice.

A long time ago, I learned that bilingual babies are slower to begin talking. This is because they are learning twice as many words/grammar concepts than their monolingual peers. And, I wondered if Eric and I would be "okay" with our baby speaking "late". I decided that, yes, we would be fine with it because of the end results (a bilingual child who, ultimately, has twice the vocabulary of the rest of his class). But, in all of my planning and dreaming for our child, I didn't think about having a baby who reached any other milestones behind his friends. Obviously, somebody has to be "average" and even "late", but I wasn't prepared for it to be us.

I know that there is nothing wrong with my baby, but I wish he wasn't compared to other babies so often. I'll stick to my guns on this, even if I have the occasional "crawling bootcamp" sort of day. Nathaniel is still perfectly within "normal" ranges for his development, and his pediatrician is happy with him. I am happy with him. As I've said before, Nathaniel was induced to be born three weeks early. And, as a first baby, it wouldn't have been shocking for him to be overdue by a week or two. That being said, he could easily have been born five weeks later than he was, making him five weeks younger. And, five weeks more developed. (And, five weeks bigger--which is why I'm quite happy with his birth day!)

But, in all seriousness, why all the baby comparison?! All babies develop at their own rates, and they all grow up! Why are we in such a hurry for our little ones to become big kids? I am already missing some of Nathaniel's infancy, and I am cherishing this time with him! And, as a mother of a non-mobile baby, I am cherishing my relaxation before he becomes a toddler. When we play in the living room, his toys stay in the same area. When I go to the bathroom, he stays in the other room, content to play. When we read stories, all of the other books remain on the shelf. I know that this "calm before the storm" is short-lived, and I plan to enjoy it while I can!