Adventures in Mommyhood...: guest

Howdy, Folks! Grover Carlton here, to meet all of your groverly needs! I see The Woman typing away in this here "bloggy" all the time, so I've decided to give it a whirl. (How'm I doin' so far?) I know that she's always tellin' ya'll about The Boy Child this and The Boy Child that....and I think it's only fair to include some about BOTH children. I am, indeed, the eldest son in this household, so let me tell you about myself.

The name's Grover Carlton. They call me Groovy. I also answer to The Beast...or just about any other name said with lots of enthusiasm.

I enjoy chasing cats. Around here, we have two. They hiss and swat at me, but I know they're joking. Cats can run FAST! And, the wood floors are SLIPPERY in this place--which all adds up to super duper fun!

Sometimes I slide and fall when I'm chasing, but it's okay because I love cats. The Man says that I'm "clumsy"...I think that means that he loves me a lot.

I also enjoy my rope toys. I have 5, plus two pieces of a leash that I chewed into toys (I am very resourceful). My favorite game is when The Woman or The Man throws the rope and I fetch it. It's a super game, and I could play for hours! The Humans aren't quite as energetic. When they stop playing, I have to play by myself--like this...

My most favoritest thing in the world is to go for WALKS! Every time that I see The Woman put on her tennis shoes, I run through the house barking so that she doesn't forget to take me with her. I don't stop until she gets my leash on me and we go outside. We walk ALL the way down to the end of the street, and then back again! It's great fun! Sometimes other dogs bark at me. I used to be scared of them, but now I know that they can't get me, so I jump around in circles when they bark. Sometimes I see NEIGHBORS! That's the best! I like to show off by hopping on my hind legs until they notice me....sometimes I have to hop really far, but I don't mind!

My arch enemy is the sweeper. I've won lots of battles by racing around and barking while the sweeper growls at me. I've scared him bad enough that he spends most of his time hiding in the closet, but every now and then, he come out and I have to scare him again!

One of my hobbies is collecting sticks; the bigger, the better! I find them in the woods and on our walks. They're good for throwing, chasing, eating--anything you can think of! I once chewed down a sapling that was growing on the hillside to add to my collection. (The Woman said I was part beaver....I donno what a beaver is, but I guess it means that I am very skilled.) I keep my sticks in the yard, but sometimes The Man throws them over the hill. Those are sad days, but I forgive him. Now that it's warm, I've been building my collection up again...hopefully The Man doesn't notice!

Another hobby of mine is collecting rocks and acorns. They're good for chewing. When The Humans aren't paying attention, I sneak them into the house for indoor chewing.

Speaking of indoor chewing, I feel that I must explain my eating habits. The Woman laughs whenever I eat my dog chow, and I think she's rude. I don't laugh when she eats; I sit quietly with my face as close to her plate as possible. (I'm polite.) When I eat, I like to go to my bowl, get a giant bite of chow, run into the living room, spit it all over the floor, then eat it piece by piece. I never eat straight from my bowl. Obviously, I do this to aid in my digestion.

My other favorite food is from The Boy Child. His hands are constantly covered in tasty and delicious flavors! I lick them thoroughly for him, and he laughs. For some reason, The Woman makes me stop licking before I'm through. I mean, doesn't she want her baby's hands to be clean?!

The best time of the whole day is when The Man comes home! Sometimes he gets up early and goes away for a long time. Sometimes he goes outside into the yard for 5 minutes. No matter what, I make it my duty to be sure that he feels VERY WELCOME when he walks through the front door! When I hear his car pull into the driveway, I race through the house and cry loudly. While he walks to the door, I yap and yap and yap! When the door opens, I leap into his arms and bark until he gives me a hug and a complete rub down. Oh, how I love The Man!

(I like The Woman and The Boy Child well enough, but The Man is my true love! ...and I know he feels the same way about me!)

During the daytime, I take lots of naps. I have to keep my strength up at all times, just in case The Man comes home or The Woman wants to go for a walk. Most of the time, I nap close to The Boy Child to protect him from the cats. At night, I sleep at the corner of The Human's bed. I tug on their blankets and steal things from the clothes hamper to use as pillows. They don't like it, but I don't know how else they expect me to be comfortable; they took my bed away when I kept peeing on it!