One year ago today, Eric told me that he was taking our family out to dinner for the evening "because it might be our last chance as a family of only three!" I thought he was crazy, but wasn't about to turn down the opportunity to not cook dinner at 39 weeks pregnant! We ate at Applebee's, then stopped at Nate's favorite store--the pet store to visit the kitties! Afterward, feeling guilty about skipping my evening let's-get-some-contractions-started-and-maybe-I'll-go-into-labor walk, I insisted that we take a stroll. We walked around the plaza, window shopping and chatting. It was hot outside, and [as usual] I did start contracting a little bit. But, as usual, they stopped as soon as I stopped walking and got into the car.
We came home, got Nate into bed, and watched a bit of television. We went to bed later than normal, and I was glad to finally slide into bed. Then, just in those final moments before sleep came, I felt the baby squirming around. Obviously, I knew the feeling well, but this was particularly noticeable because it was much more movement, very fast, and stronger than normal. I smiled and closed my eyes, thinking that the baby must really be having a party in there tonight. Then, I felt my water break! Just like that, no contractions, no tricks, no medical interventions, nothing at all. Just a little pop, and I was in labor--and my body was doing it all on its own! More importantly, I was having a baby very soon! It was hard to rest with the adrenaline pumping through my body, then by the time I'd relaxed enough to rest, the contractions were getting too strong to sleep. Eventually, I was able to fitfully doze off for a couple of hours, waking every few minutes to drowsily time contractions, but falling asleep before the next one began. By the time the sun began to rise on August 11, I was up out of bed and ready for our family of three to become a family of four!
Continue reading Levi's birth story here....
Showing posts with label birth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label birth. Show all posts
Saturday, August 10, 2013
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Levi's Birth Story.
On Friday evening, Eric suggested that we go out for dinner on a little "family date" because it might be our last chance as a family of three. Honestly, I wasn't convinced that the baby was coming any time soon (I was 39 weeks pregnant, and had made absolutely no progress toward labor as of 3 days beforehand at my doctor's appointment), but the prospect of not having to cook dinner sounded good to me! We went to Applebee's, where I had my usual Fiesta Lime Chicken (Seriously, how many times have I eaten that dish during this pregnancy?!). After supper, we took Nate to visit to kitties at the pet store, then stopped into the book store. Afterwards, I felt a little guilty about skipping our evening walk, so we took a stroll around the shopping plaza for a while. I had a few contractions during the walk, but nothing painful (and nothing that hadn't been happening during walks for weeks). As soon as I sat down in the car, the contractions stopped.
We came home, got Nathaniel into bed, and spent the rest of the evening relaxing on the couch. We watched a movie and stayed up later than we meant to, eventually climbing into bed a little after midnight. While I was laying there, the baby was squirming around in my belly like mad--way more than he had been recently (In fact, he'd been relatively quiet all day long). Just as I started to doze off, I felt a pop inside of me. I wasn't sure, but immediately wondered if my water had broken. For some reason, I had a brief moment of panic and lay perfectly still--just waiting. Nothing happened. I convinced myself that it had been my imagination, and I rolled over. The movement confirmed my suspicions, and my water gushed all over the bed.
"Eric?"
"Huh?" came the sleepy reply.
"I think my water just broke....?"
"WHAT? Are you serious?? Really?!" That woke him up! I wasn't having any contractions at all, so I didn't really feel like I knew what to do. Since we were both wide awake, we decided to finish up whatever needed to be done. Eric worked on lesson plans for his substitute, and I spent a good 30 minutes googling what to do if your water breaks without contractions. (Answer: Nothing, just wait for the contractions to start.)
Within the hour, I started having contractions that were 10 minutes apart. An hour after that, I was still having contractions that were 10 minutes apart--and it was 2am. I decided to try and sleep because I knew that I would need to rest. Have you ever tried to go to sleep when you know that you're in labor? Easier said than done! Eventually, I fell asleep for a little while. The contractions were getting closer together and more intense--I spent a couple of hours fitfully resting between contractions that I tried to time, but forgot how long it had been by the time the next one started.
By 6am, I was in enough pain that I couldn't lay in bed any longer. I got up and paced through the darkened house; dawn was just starting to peek over the hillside in the back yard. I'm not really sure that it had hit me quite yet that I was actually going to be having a baby today! I ate a banana, and decided to get into the shower to see if it would help ease the pain. The heat from the shower felt wonderful, and I stayed in there for almost an hour. When I got out, I decided that it was probably time to call my mom to come stay with Nate while we headed to the hospital. I called her at 7:30am, and asked her to come over in about an hour.
Meanwhile, I straightened up the house and tossed a few last things into my hospital bag. Despite my previous belief that I was not going to go into labor on my own, I had everything ready! For some reason, it was almost as if I'd "known" that it was going to happen then; I'd been working all week to get everything done. And, it was. We'd cleaned the entire house, done the grocery shopping, stocked the freezer full of meals, and finished the laundry--as of Friday night, we were ready for the baby. And, it was a good thing, because he was coming!
By the time my mom arrived, my contractions were coming 3 to 4 minutes apart, but only lasting about 30 seconds. According to my doctor, I was supposed to come into Labor & Delivery when they were 5 minutes apart, and one minute in length. I tried to distract myself by getting Nathaniel up and dressed for the day in his "I'm going to be a big brother" shirt one last time! We had breakfast (during which I managed to force down a small bowl of cereal as fast as I could in between contractions). By 9am, I knew it was time to go to the hospital. I hugged and kissed Nathaniel goodbye, and we left. What a weird feeling to leave your only child, knowing that the next time you see him, he won't be your only child!
When we arrived at the hospital, I was ushered quickly into a room. Since there was nobody else in Labor & Delivery at all, I had the full attention of all of the nurses! The resident doctor checked me, and I was already dilated 6 centimeters--a huge relief to me, as I'd been worried that I wouldn't be very far along! The nurses told me that my OB was on call that weekend, and that she was already on her way in to see me. My only fear about going into labor on my own had been that I might go during the night/weekend and have another doctor whom I'd never met before deliver my baby, so I was very relieved to hear that Dr C was on call.
When she arrived, Dr C checked me and said that I was still at 6, but pushing 7 centimeters. She wanted to give me a very low dose of Pitocin to push my contractions a little closer together, and told me that if I wanted a epidural that I needed to request it soon or I'd miss my chance! I wasn't set one way or the other about getting an epidural yet, but decided to go ahead and get one if they started the Pitocin because the contractions would get stronger AND I'd be confined to the bed for monitoring. I asked for my epidural, and was told that the anisthesiologist wasn't there (hey, weekend!), but would be called in. He arrived within probably a half an hour, but it was one of the longest half hours of my life! The contractions were still coming a couple of minutes apart, but they were much, much more intense! Finally, at 11:30am, the anisthesiologist arrived and administered my epidural. Sitting perfectly still for those few minutes while he inserted it through my contractions was horrible! After the epidural was in place, I was able to relax a little bit. My contractions didn't feel nearly as intense, but I started shaking and couldn't stop. According to the nurses, the shaking was simply a reaction to the hormones and was not uncommon (I remember doing the same thing while in labor with Nathaniel). I felt frustrated that I was so far along, feeling comfortable enough to rest, but unable to do so because my body was shaking!
At 12:10pm, Dr C checked me again, and told me that I was dilated to 9 centimeters. It was almost baby time! Within about 20 minutes, I was at 10 centimeters, but the baby's head was still at 0 station. Since my epidural was working, they decided to let me continue contracting for a few more minutes before I started pushing to get the baby to lower a little more on his own. Through my epidural, I began feeling the most intense pressure that I'd ever felt. The baby was most definitely moving down!
At 12:55pm, my nurse had me do a "practice push". Afterward, she immediately called the doctor into the room, and we were ready to have a baby! Only five pushes later, Levi Alexander was born at 1:03pm. The umbilical cord was around his neck, and Dr C gently removed it. Levi was immediately placed on my chest, and I couldn't believe that our precious little boy had arrived to quickly/easily! He had a head full of dark hair, and was absolutely perfect in every way. Within 20 minutes of delivery, I attempted to nurse him, and he latched right on perfectly. We were able to keep him in the room with us for about an hour before they took him to be weighed/measured. Levi weighed in at 7 pounds, 1.5 ounces (9.5 oz heavier than Nate was), and he was 20 inches long (exact same length as Nate).
What a different experience from Nathaniel's birth story! Not only did I avoid an induction this time around, I had a short labor, 5 pushes (vs. 2 hours!), no episiotomy/tearing/stitches, no baby in distress; it was amazing! When they say that the second delivery is easier than the first, it was absolutely true in my case! I still cannot believe how easy Levi's birth was, and how great I felt afterwards! Welcome to the world, sweet little boy!!
We came home, got Nathaniel into bed, and spent the rest of the evening relaxing on the couch. We watched a movie and stayed up later than we meant to, eventually climbing into bed a little after midnight. While I was laying there, the baby was squirming around in my belly like mad--way more than he had been recently (In fact, he'd been relatively quiet all day long). Just as I started to doze off, I felt a pop inside of me. I wasn't sure, but immediately wondered if my water had broken. For some reason, I had a brief moment of panic and lay perfectly still--just waiting. Nothing happened. I convinced myself that it had been my imagination, and I rolled over. The movement confirmed my suspicions, and my water gushed all over the bed.
"Eric?"
"Huh?" came the sleepy reply.
"I think my water just broke....?"
"WHAT? Are you serious?? Really?!" That woke him up! I wasn't having any contractions at all, so I didn't really feel like I knew what to do. Since we were both wide awake, we decided to finish up whatever needed to be done. Eric worked on lesson plans for his substitute, and I spent a good 30 minutes googling what to do if your water breaks without contractions. (Answer: Nothing, just wait for the contractions to start.)
Within the hour, I started having contractions that were 10 minutes apart. An hour after that, I was still having contractions that were 10 minutes apart--and it was 2am. I decided to try and sleep because I knew that I would need to rest. Have you ever tried to go to sleep when you know that you're in labor? Easier said than done! Eventually, I fell asleep for a little while. The contractions were getting closer together and more intense--I spent a couple of hours fitfully resting between contractions that I tried to time, but forgot how long it had been by the time the next one started.
By 6am, I was in enough pain that I couldn't lay in bed any longer. I got up and paced through the darkened house; dawn was just starting to peek over the hillside in the back yard. I'm not really sure that it had hit me quite yet that I was actually going to be having a baby today! I ate a banana, and decided to get into the shower to see if it would help ease the pain. The heat from the shower felt wonderful, and I stayed in there for almost an hour. When I got out, I decided that it was probably time to call my mom to come stay with Nate while we headed to the hospital. I called her at 7:30am, and asked her to come over in about an hour.
Meanwhile, I straightened up the house and tossed a few last things into my hospital bag. Despite my previous belief that I was not going to go into labor on my own, I had everything ready! For some reason, it was almost as if I'd "known" that it was going to happen then; I'd been working all week to get everything done. And, it was. We'd cleaned the entire house, done the grocery shopping, stocked the freezer full of meals, and finished the laundry--as of Friday night, we were ready for the baby. And, it was a good thing, because he was coming!
By the time my mom arrived, my contractions were coming 3 to 4 minutes apart, but only lasting about 30 seconds. According to my doctor, I was supposed to come into Labor & Delivery when they were 5 minutes apart, and one minute in length. I tried to distract myself by getting Nathaniel up and dressed for the day in his "I'm going to be a big brother" shirt one last time! We had breakfast (during which I managed to force down a small bowl of cereal as fast as I could in between contractions). By 9am, I knew it was time to go to the hospital. I hugged and kissed Nathaniel goodbye, and we left. What a weird feeling to leave your only child, knowing that the next time you see him, he won't be your only child!
When we arrived at the hospital, I was ushered quickly into a room. Since there was nobody else in Labor & Delivery at all, I had the full attention of all of the nurses! The resident doctor checked me, and I was already dilated 6 centimeters--a huge relief to me, as I'd been worried that I wouldn't be very far along! The nurses told me that my OB was on call that weekend, and that she was already on her way in to see me. My only fear about going into labor on my own had been that I might go during the night/weekend and have another doctor whom I'd never met before deliver my baby, so I was very relieved to hear that Dr C was on call.
When she arrived, Dr C checked me and said that I was still at 6, but pushing 7 centimeters. She wanted to give me a very low dose of Pitocin to push my contractions a little closer together, and told me that if I wanted a epidural that I needed to request it soon or I'd miss my chance! I wasn't set one way or the other about getting an epidural yet, but decided to go ahead and get one if they started the Pitocin because the contractions would get stronger AND I'd be confined to the bed for monitoring. I asked for my epidural, and was told that the anisthesiologist wasn't there (hey, weekend!), but would be called in. He arrived within probably a half an hour, but it was one of the longest half hours of my life! The contractions were still coming a couple of minutes apart, but they were much, much more intense! Finally, at 11:30am, the anisthesiologist arrived and administered my epidural. Sitting perfectly still for those few minutes while he inserted it through my contractions was horrible! After the epidural was in place, I was able to relax a little bit. My contractions didn't feel nearly as intense, but I started shaking and couldn't stop. According to the nurses, the shaking was simply a reaction to the hormones and was not uncommon (I remember doing the same thing while in labor with Nathaniel). I felt frustrated that I was so far along, feeling comfortable enough to rest, but unable to do so because my body was shaking!
At 12:10pm, Dr C checked me again, and told me that I was dilated to 9 centimeters. It was almost baby time! Within about 20 minutes, I was at 10 centimeters, but the baby's head was still at 0 station. Since my epidural was working, they decided to let me continue contracting for a few more minutes before I started pushing to get the baby to lower a little more on his own. Through my epidural, I began feeling the most intense pressure that I'd ever felt. The baby was most definitely moving down!
At 12:55pm, my nurse had me do a "practice push". Afterward, she immediately called the doctor into the room, and we were ready to have a baby! Only five pushes later, Levi Alexander was born at 1:03pm. The umbilical cord was around his neck, and Dr C gently removed it. Levi was immediately placed on my chest, and I couldn't believe that our precious little boy had arrived to quickly/easily! He had a head full of dark hair, and was absolutely perfect in every way. Within 20 minutes of delivery, I attempted to nurse him, and he latched right on perfectly. We were able to keep him in the room with us for about an hour before they took him to be weighed/measured. Levi weighed in at 7 pounds, 1.5 ounces (9.5 oz heavier than Nate was), and he was 20 inches long (exact same length as Nate).
What a different experience from Nathaniel's birth story! Not only did I avoid an induction this time around, I had a short labor, 5 pushes (vs. 2 hours!), no episiotomy/tearing/stitches, no baby in distress; it was amazing! When they say that the second delivery is easier than the first, it was absolutely true in my case! I still cannot believe how easy Levi's birth was, and how great I felt afterwards! Welcome to the world, sweet little boy!!
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Before.
Pregnancy. It's a loaded word--some people crave it, some people dread it. Everybody knows that it's a big deal--like, life-changing important. You know that pregnancy test commercial where it tells you "x" number of days before any other test will? I think that commercial is a load of crap because any test will tell you if you're pregnant when your body has enough hCG in it {and that amount is different for everyone}; but I do think that is does a nice job of demonstrating the gravity of a pregnancy (planned or not).
Before I saw those two pink lines on a test of my own, I couldn't wait to be pregnant! Making a baby is fun, right? Well, it sure is....but then when you realize what is happening, you suddenly realize that you're totally clueless about pregnancy. {Wait, it's more than just popping a prenatal vitamin nightly?} Like any educated woman in 2010 would do, I headed straight for the source of all information: a Google search. In just 0.16 seconds, I had "about 428,000,000" links to read about the whole growing a baby human process. Cool. I had nine months to narrow it down.
Reading about pregnancy was my favorite pregnancy hobby. I bought every prenatal book that I could get my hands on--and Eric can vouch to say that there are a lot of books about pregnancy! I loved learning about my body and my baby, and how they were working together. My absolute favorite thing to read about was what my baby was doing each week. "Hey Honey, our baby is growing ears this week!" It was fascinating to learn about how a whole tiny human could form so quickly--and amazing to think that it was happening inside my own body!
But, the miracle of life isn't the only thing that those books discuss. They also describe in great detail miscarriages, pregnancy side-effects, birth defects, and stillbirths. In the beginning, these sections are easy enough to flip past...but as the pregnancy progresses and the doctor is running precautionary tests for about 400 different problems, you have to wonder. My baby passed every single prenatal test perfectly with flying colors--and I still worried about him. What if?
For me, the actual pregnancy was a breeze. That horrible first trimester? Nah, it wasn't so bad. Sure, I was nauseous daily, and completely exhausted by 6 pm. But, it was worth it. The second trimester meant that I was finally able to eat dinners again, I woke up, and I finally started to look pregnant! Again, not so bad, right? For me, the third trimester was the worst--and by "worst", I mean that it wasn't my favorite. I was very pregnant in the dead of summer. The heat felt absolutely suffocating to me, and, my ankles were swollen. My belly was so big that it made my back hurt whenever I worked for longer than 4 hours. (I'm guessing that having a job that doesn't require the constant lifting of small children and crawling around on the floor may help to prevent this symptom.) But, every night when I would lay down on the couch and bemoan my achy body, I would feel my precious baby moving around within me, and I remembered what an amazing thing I was doing. Who cares about swollen feet? I was having a baby!!
The further along I got, the less I worried about one problem (miscarriage), but the more I started to worry about another (birth). I think that I began to doubt myself more than my baby. I wasn't worried about him--he was a tough little guy who had endured 9 months in the womb, and, despite borderline pre-eclampsia, was thriving. I worried about my own body and endurance. Could I really give birth vaginally? Would I be able to stay conscious in the event of a c-section?
For the duration of my pregnancy, I told myself that I wasn't scared of the birthing process. Millions of women have given birth all over the world forever (most without any pain medication)--it can't be that bad, right? This actually worked to calm my fears....until about a week before I gave birth. During the last few days, I started to get nervous. What if it hurts more than I can handle? What if I can't push him out? What if there is something wrong with my baby? What if I get him out, but then don't know how to be a mother? All of these fears are completely logical and rational--and especially scary when you're doped up on pregnancy hormones.
Despite the fact that it only took about 10 seconds for the reality of pregnancy to hit me nine months before, it took a while for me to realize that the outcome of this whole ordeal was going to be a real baby. I could feel him moving constantly, and I had seen lots of ultra-sound pictures of the little guy--but it still didn't seem real. When I was admitted to the hospital, I think that the reality started to hit me when I saw the little bassinet next to my bed. And, it already had the tiny hat laying there ready for him!
After I had been in labor for hours, I suddenly realized that this was it. I was ready to push--and then I would have my son in my arms! He would not be inside of me, scheduled to come out "soon", but rather he would be right in front of me! While the nurses rushed around preparing themselves and the room, reality hit me, and I was terrified. I was scared of giving birth, and I was even more scared to be a mom! I looked at my husband, and it frightened me to think that we would be parents within just a few minutes--we didn't know anything about babies or parenting--what were were thinking?!
In an effort to calm myself, I used my go-to line: "Women all over the world have been giving birth forever. Your body was made to give birth. You can do it!" Nope, nothing. I wasn't scared of the pain anymore (the epidural had taken care of that!), but I was scared of being a mother. Then, I realized something else: This is the day that I've been waiting for my whole, entire life. I've wanted to be a mommy since I was four years old and collecting baby dolls. My son wasn't coming out as a rambunctious 3-year-old or a wild 17-year-old; he was coming into this world as a helpless little baby who only wants his mommy. I could handle it. And, I did.
I would do it all over again in a heartbeat--the pregnancy, the birth, the crying infant at 4 am--it's all so much more than "worth it" when it happens. I love being a mommy more than I have ever loved any other job or label. Nathaniel is perfect, and I wouldn't trade a second with him for anything. As scary as the whole process was, I really believe that some people are just born to be parents--and I think that Eric and I are both those people. We won't always be perfect, and I'm sure we'll make lots of mistakes along the way, but Nathaniel is the luckiest baby because he is loved. He is loved more than he will ever know, and that, my friend, is way more important than knowing how to push a baby out or how to breastfeed. If you give a baby all the love in the world, everything else will follow.
Before I saw those two pink lines on a test of my own, I couldn't wait to be pregnant! Making a baby is fun, right? Well, it sure is....but then when you realize what is happening, you suddenly realize that you're totally clueless about pregnancy. {Wait, it's more than just popping a prenatal vitamin nightly?} Like any educated woman in 2010 would do, I headed straight for the source of all information: a Google search. In just 0.16 seconds, I had "about 428,000,000" links to read about the whole growing a baby human process. Cool. I had nine months to narrow it down.
Reading about pregnancy was my favorite pregnancy hobby. I bought every prenatal book that I could get my hands on--and Eric can vouch to say that there are a lot of books about pregnancy! I loved learning about my body and my baby, and how they were working together. My absolute favorite thing to read about was what my baby was doing each week. "Hey Honey, our baby is growing ears this week!" It was fascinating to learn about how a whole tiny human could form so quickly--and amazing to think that it was happening inside my own body!
But, the miracle of life isn't the only thing that those books discuss. They also describe in great detail miscarriages, pregnancy side-effects, birth defects, and stillbirths. In the beginning, these sections are easy enough to flip past...but as the pregnancy progresses and the doctor is running precautionary tests for about 400 different problems, you have to wonder. My baby passed every single prenatal test perfectly with flying colors--and I still worried about him. What if?
For me, the actual pregnancy was a breeze. That horrible first trimester? Nah, it wasn't so bad. Sure, I was nauseous daily, and completely exhausted by 6 pm. But, it was worth it. The second trimester meant that I was finally able to eat dinners again, I woke up, and I finally started to look pregnant! Again, not so bad, right? For me, the third trimester was the worst--and by "worst", I mean that it wasn't my favorite. I was very pregnant in the dead of summer. The heat felt absolutely suffocating to me, and, my ankles were swollen. My belly was so big that it made my back hurt whenever I worked for longer than 4 hours. (I'm guessing that having a job that doesn't require the constant lifting of small children and crawling around on the floor may help to prevent this symptom.) But, every night when I would lay down on the couch and bemoan my achy body, I would feel my precious baby moving around within me, and I remembered what an amazing thing I was doing. Who cares about swollen feet? I was having a baby!!
The further along I got, the less I worried about one problem (miscarriage), but the more I started to worry about another (birth). I think that I began to doubt myself more than my baby. I wasn't worried about him--he was a tough little guy who had endured 9 months in the womb, and, despite borderline pre-eclampsia, was thriving. I worried about my own body and endurance. Could I really give birth vaginally? Would I be able to stay conscious in the event of a c-section?
For the duration of my pregnancy, I told myself that I wasn't scared of the birthing process. Millions of women have given birth all over the world forever (most without any pain medication)--it can't be that bad, right? This actually worked to calm my fears....until about a week before I gave birth. During the last few days, I started to get nervous. What if it hurts more than I can handle? What if I can't push him out? What if there is something wrong with my baby? What if I get him out, but then don't know how to be a mother? All of these fears are completely logical and rational--and especially scary when you're doped up on pregnancy hormones.
Despite the fact that it only took about 10 seconds for the reality of pregnancy to hit me nine months before, it took a while for me to realize that the outcome of this whole ordeal was going to be a real baby. I could feel him moving constantly, and I had seen lots of ultra-sound pictures of the little guy--but it still didn't seem real. When I was admitted to the hospital, I think that the reality started to hit me when I saw the little bassinet next to my bed. And, it already had the tiny hat laying there ready for him!
After I had been in labor for hours, I suddenly realized that this was it. I was ready to push--and then I would have my son in my arms! He would not be inside of me, scheduled to come out "soon", but rather he would be right in front of me! While the nurses rushed around preparing themselves and the room, reality hit me, and I was terrified. I was scared of giving birth, and I was even more scared to be a mom! I looked at my husband, and it frightened me to think that we would be parents within just a few minutes--we didn't know anything about babies or parenting--what were were thinking?!
In an effort to calm myself, I used my go-to line: "Women all over the world have been giving birth forever. Your body was made to give birth. You can do it!" Nope, nothing. I wasn't scared of the pain anymore (the epidural had taken care of that!), but I was scared of being a mother. Then, I realized something else: This is the day that I've been waiting for my whole, entire life. I've wanted to be a mommy since I was four years old and collecting baby dolls. My son wasn't coming out as a rambunctious 3-year-old or a wild 17-year-old; he was coming into this world as a helpless little baby who only wants his mommy. I could handle it. And, I did.
I would do it all over again in a heartbeat--the pregnancy, the birth, the crying infant at 4 am--it's all so much more than "worth it" when it happens. I love being a mommy more than I have ever loved any other job or label. Nathaniel is perfect, and I wouldn't trade a second with him for anything. As scary as the whole process was, I really believe that some people are just born to be parents--and I think that Eric and I are both those people. We won't always be perfect, and I'm sure we'll make lots of mistakes along the way, but Nathaniel is the luckiest baby because he is loved. He is loved more than he will ever know, and that, my friend, is way more important than knowing how to push a baby out or how to breastfeed. If you give a baby all the love in the world, everything else will follow.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Birth Story.
After a I'm-even-more-excited-than-a-5-year-old-on-Christmas-Eve sleepless night, Eric and I were up and arriving at the hospital at 6 am on August 17th. We filled out some paperwork, then we were ushered upstairs to Labor and Delivery. I was placed in Birthing Room 5, which was completely ready for both me and the baby. I think that seeing the bassinet waiting with a tiny hat and itty bitty hospital bracelets really made me realize that this was it--my baby was really coming!
At 7 am, the nurse insert my IV, and a Pitocin drip was started to begin my contractions. My doctor arrived at the same time, and told me that my cervix was about 75% effaced and already dilated 2 centimeters. Since I wasn't thrilled with the idea of being induced, I was glad to hear that my body had already begun preparing itself for labor naturally. The doctor said that she was only going to leave me on the Pitocin until 1 pm, then stop it for the night because she simply wanted to use that day to get my cervix more ready for a vaginal delivery. Slightly discouraged at the prospect of another day without my baby in my arms, I did appreciate her concern. She knew that I did not want a c-section, and she was doing her best to abide by my wishes.
I spent the entire morning laboring in bed, attached to the IV (I was allowed up to use the restroom). Although this was not in my plan, it was not bad at all. I was having contractions, but they were not painful until almost noon, and then never became unbearable. My Pitocin dose was at 30 mU/minute by the time I was unhooked at 1 pm. After the Pitocin was unhooked, my contractions quickly lessened, and then totally subsided (something my doctor was not thrilled to hear). I was initially excited to have the IV stopped because it meant that I was allowed to eat something other than a liquid diet. After half a day of laboring with only some chicken broth and jello in my stomach, that hospital menu was very appetizing! We spent the rest of the day hanging out at the hospital, bored and more than a little frustrated. Eric was a champ through the whole process--he encouraged me, and reminded me of what an amazing thing we were there to do....later. I stayed at the hospital throughout the night, with intentions of starting labor again in the morning.
If I hadn't been completely exhausted from a lack of sleep the night before, sleeping in a labor bed may have kept me awake all night. As it was, I slept off and on throughout the night, waking up periodically to achy hips due to the thin mattress and strange make of the bed. My night nurse told me that "these bed are made for birthing, not for sleeping," and offered me a sleeping pill. I declined, instead spending those final hours of my pregnancy feeling my baby move within me; I felt so amazingly close to him, yet still had not met him.
At 5 am, the nurses arrived to ready me for labor yet again. My IV drip was turned on at 5:30 am, and the Pitocin was started at 6:05 am. At 7 am, my doctor arrived, and wanted to break my water. She said that it should speed up my progress, but that if I had not delivered within 24 hours, I would have to have a c-section because of the infection risk. I agreed, with my fingers crossed that my labor would speed up and progress normally. At 7:10 am, she broke my water, which felt like nothing more than a pinch, then a huge gush of warm water--which continued to leak for the rest of the day! My doctor encouraged me to get an epidural (and early!) because she wanted my muscles to be as relaxed as possible, in order for my cervix to open quickly.
Immediately after my water was broken, my contractions began to get stronger. Eric and I watched Saved By The Bell on television for a while, but soon I could barely even concentrate through the contractions. I was watching my IV dosage and told myself that I would go ahead and get the epidural when I was getting 20 mU/minute of Pitocin. By 9 am, my contractions were 45 to 50 seconds long, about 3 to 4 minutes apart, and very strong. I finally relented and asked the nurse for my epidural when my Pitocin was only at 18 mU/minute.
At 9:30 am, the anesthesiologist arrived to start my epidural. As he was preparing his things, I noticed that my Pitocin dose was at 20 mU/minute--my original goal for an epidural. Since I had originally wanted to avoid any medication, I was beginning to get nervous, but he quickly calmed my fears with humor. My epidural was inserted, with only a pinch and a strange cool sensation throughout my lower back. As nervous as I was about the procedure, it was ridiculously uneventful. Immediately, my pain began to lessen throughout the contractions. Since I was not able to move from the bed now, my nurse inserted a catheter--which I think was the worst part of the entire induction. It did not so much hurt, as it was very uncomfortable, and remained so until it was removed.
My doctor arrived at 1 pm to check my progress, and happily pronounced me to be 5 centimeters dilated. I did get excited when I realized that I was not going to be moving from that bed until after my baby was born. It was really happening this time! During the afternoon, Eric and I passed the time by watching a Psych marathon that was on television. The nurse came in every half an hour to rotate which side I was laying, and I tried to get a few minutes of napping in here and there. From that point on, I progressed very quickly (7 cm at 2:20; 9 cm at 3:30).
At 4 pm, my nurse came into the room and began preparing me to push. She removed my catheter and blood pressure cuff. Several other nurses came with loads of supplies, and everything began to happen in a rush. I remember looking at Eric amidst all of the crowd and hurry, and thinking that these were our last few minutes of just us.
Suddenly, without any sort of a "starting point," without any doctors, without ever being pronounced to be 10 centimeters dilated, at 4:30 pm, I was pushing! I didn't know if I was doing it right or if anything was happening, but I pushed with all that I could. My nurses were wonderful--encouraging me through it all, proclaiming me a "good pusher", and promising that my little guy would be out soon! I pushed and pushed and pushed....and pushed!
By the time my doctor arrived, I had been pushing for a half an hour, and the nurses could see the baby's head when I pushed. But, when I stopped pushing, he would go back up. Thankfully, his heartbeat remained steady. We tried pushing while I was on my side, but it was to no avail--this baby was stubborn! I pushed for an hour, until I was completely drenched in sweat and shaking. I wanted a break so badly, but I wanted my baby in my arms more! The longer I pushed, the closer the head came to emerging....but then would disappear again when I stopped to breathe. Through it all, the baby's heartbeat remained strong and constant. I remember the nurses telling my husband to look at the baby's head while I pushed, and he did. My husband, the man who swore that he would not look past my shoulders when I was in labor because he did not want to see anything gross, looked at our baby's head--and when I saw the amazed look on his face, I was even more determined to push harder. Again, I pushed for all I could, but the baby simply would not descend all of the way. The more I pushed, the more they monitored his heartbeat--which stayed perfect.
Soon, my doctor was threatening a c-section. She knew that I wanted to birth this baby naturally, and she said that she did not want to do a c-section at this point, but she wasn't sure that I would be able to get him out any other way. She told me that I had 15 more minutes to push, then we were going to have to do a c-section. When she left to prepare for the surgery, and the nurses began checking me for jewelry to be removed, I was absolutely determined that I was going to deliver this baby naturally. I pushed even harder and longer than I had been; I was begging my baby to descend in my mind. I prayed with every breath. For a half an hour, I pushed with every single muscle in my body. I focused on my baby, watching his perfect heartbeat on the monitor and praying. I had three nurses shouting and cheering me on, and my amazing husband whispering encouragement in my ear when I was finally able to push the baby down to where he needed to be.
My doctor returned, just in time to do an episiotomy. I saw her pull out a big needle to numb me, and I prayed that I wouldn't feel it. I didn't feel the needle or the cut, but I did feel tremendous pressure from my baby's head. When they finally told me to push, I barely had to push when I felt his head emerging. Even with my epidural, I felt him come out, and I am so glad for that amazing experience.
Nathaniel Isaac was born at 6:03 pm on August 18, 2010. When he emerged, the doctor was shocked to find the cord wrapped around his neck--after the perfectly steady heartbeat throughout the duration of labor. He had also had a bowel movement during labor, causing him to be covered in meconium. It was the scariest moment of my life when she held up my silent baby, began suctioning his mouth and nose, and ordered that someone from the nursery get there immediately. Although it was probably only a few seconds, it felt like an hour before I heard him begin to cry--and then I started crying too! I watched them cleaning my baby across the room, while I delivered the placenta (which required no pushing; I felt it practically fall out) and was stitched up.
At 7 am, the nurse insert my IV, and a Pitocin drip was started to begin my contractions. My doctor arrived at the same time, and told me that my cervix was about 75% effaced and already dilated 2 centimeters. Since I wasn't thrilled with the idea of being induced, I was glad to hear that my body had already begun preparing itself for labor naturally. The doctor said that she was only going to leave me on the Pitocin until 1 pm, then stop it for the night because she simply wanted to use that day to get my cervix more ready for a vaginal delivery. Slightly discouraged at the prospect of another day without my baby in my arms, I did appreciate her concern. She knew that I did not want a c-section, and she was doing her best to abide by my wishes.
I spent the entire morning laboring in bed, attached to the IV (I was allowed up to use the restroom). Although this was not in my plan, it was not bad at all. I was having contractions, but they were not painful until almost noon, and then never became unbearable. My Pitocin dose was at 30 mU/minute by the time I was unhooked at 1 pm. After the Pitocin was unhooked, my contractions quickly lessened, and then totally subsided (something my doctor was not thrilled to hear). I was initially excited to have the IV stopped because it meant that I was allowed to eat something other than a liquid diet. After half a day of laboring with only some chicken broth and jello in my stomach, that hospital menu was very appetizing! We spent the rest of the day hanging out at the hospital, bored and more than a little frustrated. Eric was a champ through the whole process--he encouraged me, and reminded me of what an amazing thing we were there to do....later. I stayed at the hospital throughout the night, with intentions of starting labor again in the morning.
If I hadn't been completely exhausted from a lack of sleep the night before, sleeping in a labor bed may have kept me awake all night. As it was, I slept off and on throughout the night, waking up periodically to achy hips due to the thin mattress and strange make of the bed. My night nurse told me that "these bed are made for birthing, not for sleeping," and offered me a sleeping pill. I declined, instead spending those final hours of my pregnancy feeling my baby move within me; I felt so amazingly close to him, yet still had not met him.
At 5 am, the nurses arrived to ready me for labor yet again. My IV drip was turned on at 5:30 am, and the Pitocin was started at 6:05 am. At 7 am, my doctor arrived, and wanted to break my water. She said that it should speed up my progress, but that if I had not delivered within 24 hours, I would have to have a c-section because of the infection risk. I agreed, with my fingers crossed that my labor would speed up and progress normally. At 7:10 am, she broke my water, which felt like nothing more than a pinch, then a huge gush of warm water--which continued to leak for the rest of the day! My doctor encouraged me to get an epidural (and early!) because she wanted my muscles to be as relaxed as possible, in order for my cervix to open quickly.
Immediately after my water was broken, my contractions began to get stronger. Eric and I watched Saved By The Bell on television for a while, but soon I could barely even concentrate through the contractions. I was watching my IV dosage and told myself that I would go ahead and get the epidural when I was getting 20 mU/minute of Pitocin. By 9 am, my contractions were 45 to 50 seconds long, about 3 to 4 minutes apart, and very strong. I finally relented and asked the nurse for my epidural when my Pitocin was only at 18 mU/minute.
At 9:30 am, the anesthesiologist arrived to start my epidural. As he was preparing his things, I noticed that my Pitocin dose was at 20 mU/minute--my original goal for an epidural. Since I had originally wanted to avoid any medication, I was beginning to get nervous, but he quickly calmed my fears with humor. My epidural was inserted, with only a pinch and a strange cool sensation throughout my lower back. As nervous as I was about the procedure, it was ridiculously uneventful. Immediately, my pain began to lessen throughout the contractions. Since I was not able to move from the bed now, my nurse inserted a catheter--which I think was the worst part of the entire induction. It did not so much hurt, as it was very uncomfortable, and remained so until it was removed.
My doctor arrived at 1 pm to check my progress, and happily pronounced me to be 5 centimeters dilated. I did get excited when I realized that I was not going to be moving from that bed until after my baby was born. It was really happening this time! During the afternoon, Eric and I passed the time by watching a Psych marathon that was on television. The nurse came in every half an hour to rotate which side I was laying, and I tried to get a few minutes of napping in here and there. From that point on, I progressed very quickly (7 cm at 2:20; 9 cm at 3:30).
At 4 pm, my nurse came into the room and began preparing me to push. She removed my catheter and blood pressure cuff. Several other nurses came with loads of supplies, and everything began to happen in a rush. I remember looking at Eric amidst all of the crowd and hurry, and thinking that these were our last few minutes of just us.
Suddenly, without any sort of a "starting point," without any doctors, without ever being pronounced to be 10 centimeters dilated, at 4:30 pm, I was pushing! I didn't know if I was doing it right or if anything was happening, but I pushed with all that I could. My nurses were wonderful--encouraging me through it all, proclaiming me a "good pusher", and promising that my little guy would be out soon! I pushed and pushed and pushed....and pushed!
By the time my doctor arrived, I had been pushing for a half an hour, and the nurses could see the baby's head when I pushed. But, when I stopped pushing, he would go back up. Thankfully, his heartbeat remained steady. We tried pushing while I was on my side, but it was to no avail--this baby was stubborn! I pushed for an hour, until I was completely drenched in sweat and shaking. I wanted a break so badly, but I wanted my baby in my arms more! The longer I pushed, the closer the head came to emerging....but then would disappear again when I stopped to breathe. Through it all, the baby's heartbeat remained strong and constant. I remember the nurses telling my husband to look at the baby's head while I pushed, and he did. My husband, the man who swore that he would not look past my shoulders when I was in labor because he did not want to see anything gross, looked at our baby's head--and when I saw the amazed look on his face, I was even more determined to push harder. Again, I pushed for all I could, but the baby simply would not descend all of the way. The more I pushed, the more they monitored his heartbeat--which stayed perfect.
Soon, my doctor was threatening a c-section. She knew that I wanted to birth this baby naturally, and she said that she did not want to do a c-section at this point, but she wasn't sure that I would be able to get him out any other way. She told me that I had 15 more minutes to push, then we were going to have to do a c-section. When she left to prepare for the surgery, and the nurses began checking me for jewelry to be removed, I was absolutely determined that I was going to deliver this baby naturally. I pushed even harder and longer than I had been; I was begging my baby to descend in my mind. I prayed with every breath. For a half an hour, I pushed with every single muscle in my body. I focused on my baby, watching his perfect heartbeat on the monitor and praying. I had three nurses shouting and cheering me on, and my amazing husband whispering encouragement in my ear when I was finally able to push the baby down to where he needed to be.
My doctor returned, just in time to do an episiotomy. I saw her pull out a big needle to numb me, and I prayed that I wouldn't feel it. I didn't feel the needle or the cut, but I did feel tremendous pressure from my baby's head. When they finally told me to push, I barely had to push when I felt his head emerging. Even with my epidural, I felt him come out, and I am so glad for that amazing experience.
Nathaniel Isaac was born at 6:03 pm on August 18, 2010. When he emerged, the doctor was shocked to find the cord wrapped around his neck--after the perfectly steady heartbeat throughout the duration of labor. He had also had a bowel movement during labor, causing him to be covered in meconium. It was the scariest moment of my life when she held up my silent baby, began suctioning his mouth and nose, and ordered that someone from the nursery get there immediately. Although it was probably only a few seconds, it felt like an hour before I heard him begin to cry--and then I started crying too! I watched them cleaning my baby across the room, while I delivered the placenta (which required no pushing; I felt it practically fall out) and was stitched up.
The first time that I got to hold Nathaniel was the most incredible experience. I was still laying down and being stitched up, so it was an awkward position, but I was finally holding my baby boy in my arms! He was so tiny and new, and all I wanted to do was hold him forever. Sadly, they needed to take him to the nursery to be checked, so he was whisked away with my husband.
Again, the birthing room was a flurry of activity while nurses cleaned everything up as quickly as they had brought it all in. Within 15 minutes, I was left alone in the room with a menu and told to order myself dinner quickly before the cafeteria closed. It was a strange feeling to be truly alone for the first time in 9 months. I had just done the most amazing thing of my entire life, and there was nobody there now to talk to about it. I wanted to see my baby and my husband more than anything.
It wasn't long before my husband arrived to tell me that Nathaniel was 6 pounds, 8 ounces, and 20 inches long. He was getting warm, but would soon be allowed to come back to see me. He was perfect. I cried when I heard the news. Eric was thrilled to be a father, and rushed back to be with our son. My dinner arrived, and I quickly ate. Soon, Eric and Nathaniel came to see me, and I finally got to hold my baby while my husband made lots of phone calls to tell our family the exciting news!
Monday, August 16, 2010
Dramatic 9th Month.
Throughout my pregnancy, I imagined what my baby's birth would be like a million times. In my mind, I would probably go a little past my due date (this being my first baby), my water would break, I would labor at home for as long as possible, we would frantically rush to the hospital in the middle of the night, a nurse would put me in a wheelchair and race me to labor and delivery, where I would be checked and pronounced to be dilated at least 8 or 9 centimeters, and, within an hour or two, I would be pushing, when suddenly my perfect baby would make an entrance into the world! Easy peasy, right?
I knew that birth doesn't always go as planned, but I figured I might as well psych myself up for a wonderful experience, rather than worry about the unknown. I did know that I definitely wanted a few things: A) to begin labor on my own, B) to labor at home, C) as little medical intervention as possible {no medicine}, D) a vaginal birth. In the end, I only got one of my four wishes, and you know what? It was still the most amazing experience of my entire life.
Although I wasn't aware of it, my carefree pregnancy was coming to a crashing halt when I went to my doctor's appointment on August 2. My blood pressure was high, and my doctor immediately ordered a non-stress test (to see how the baby was handling life in the womb) and blood work (to check for pre-eclampsia). Although the non-stress test came back showing a perfectly healthy baby, my labs were not so good. I was admitted to the hospital overnight for a 24 hour urine analysis, and numerous non-stress tests and blood pressure checks. Finally, after a long 24 hours, I was released to go home--with orders that I was to be on strict bed rest and a low sodium diet for the duration of my pregnancy.
Staying in bed, watching television, reading books, and relaxing--sounds wonderful, doesn't it? Just what every pregnant woman wants? Perhaps for a day or two....after that, not so much. For me, bed rest was tough because there was still so much to be done before the baby arrived! I was home all day, I felt perfectly fine--and I was not allowed to do anything except lay on the couch. Ugh. To make matters worse, after 24 hours of bed rest, we endured a huge thunderstorm that knocked out our electricity. For three whole days. Now I was on bed rest without air conditioning, without television, without radio, without ice cubes, without lights! I read four novels in three days, while maintaining a perpetually bad mood. According to my husband (who was actually allowed to leave the house!) our street was the only one within this half of the city still without power. Encouraging, right? By the time our power clicked back on, I cried (thank you, pregnancy hormones...).
I spent the next two weeks enjoying the numerous amenities available within my electricity-charged house--suddenly, bed rest wasn't so bad when I could enjoy a DVD and frozen yogurt, all with a side of air conditioning! My husband spent the time that I was on bed rest, proving what an awesome and amazing husband/daddy he is. He finished the entire nursery, put together all the rest of the baby gear, unpacked an entire dining room full of post-move boxes, cleaned out the basement, did laundry, and even cooked me suppers! Despite my frustrations, I truly fell in love with him all over again during those long days. He understood why I wanted to help, but he insisted that I follow the doctor's orders for the sake of our baby--and myself!
During my two weeks of bed rest (which felt like about two months), I did not leave the house--except to go to doctor's appointments, non-stress tests, and for more lab work every three days. While my hands and arms were black and blue because of my "bad veins", I did become a pro at punching that little button for the non-stress tests. And, with my doctor threatening a delivery every time I visited, my levels remained steady, and my baby continued to thrive. I was not getting better, but I was not getting worse either. I remained on bed rest, under close watch.
On Friday, August 13, after an early morning non-stress test, I received a phone call from my doctor. She told me that she wanted to see me on Monday, and to bring my bags because I would probably not be leaving the hospital until the baby was born. I was excited, but nervous. Eric and I spent the weekend making sure that every single thing was ready for the baby--the nursery was finished, laundry was done, carpets were vacuumed, the refrigerator was stocked, and my bag was packed!
We arrived at the doctor's office on Monday morning, ready for a baby! After a blood pressure check, my doctor was surprised, and slightly confused, about why it was so low. She wanted to know what I had been doing, and how my blood pressure could have dropped at this point! I didn't have any answers, but I was glad to hear the good news! Despite the sudden drop, my doctor did not want to take any chances--she scheduled me for a labor induction the next morning at 6 am. While I was glad for one more night at home with my husband, I was a little disappointed that I was, indeed, leaving the hospital with a baby still inside of me! We arrived home, and spent our last day as "just a couple" relaxing (everything was already done!), and we even had one last ice cream date that night!
I knew that birth doesn't always go as planned, but I figured I might as well psych myself up for a wonderful experience, rather than worry about the unknown. I did know that I definitely wanted a few things: A) to begin labor on my own, B) to labor at home, C) as little medical intervention as possible {no medicine}, D) a vaginal birth. In the end, I only got one of my four wishes, and you know what? It was still the most amazing experience of my entire life.
Although I wasn't aware of it, my carefree pregnancy was coming to a crashing halt when I went to my doctor's appointment on August 2. My blood pressure was high, and my doctor immediately ordered a non-stress test (to see how the baby was handling life in the womb) and blood work (to check for pre-eclampsia). Although the non-stress test came back showing a perfectly healthy baby, my labs were not so good. I was admitted to the hospital overnight for a 24 hour urine analysis, and numerous non-stress tests and blood pressure checks. Finally, after a long 24 hours, I was released to go home--with orders that I was to be on strict bed rest and a low sodium diet for the duration of my pregnancy.
Staying in bed, watching television, reading books, and relaxing--sounds wonderful, doesn't it? Just what every pregnant woman wants? Perhaps for a day or two....after that, not so much. For me, bed rest was tough because there was still so much to be done before the baby arrived! I was home all day, I felt perfectly fine--and I was not allowed to do anything except lay on the couch. Ugh. To make matters worse, after 24 hours of bed rest, we endured a huge thunderstorm that knocked out our electricity. For three whole days. Now I was on bed rest without air conditioning, without television, without radio, without ice cubes, without lights! I read four novels in three days, while maintaining a perpetually bad mood. According to my husband (who was actually allowed to leave the house!) our street was the only one within this half of the city still without power. Encouraging, right? By the time our power clicked back on, I cried (thank you, pregnancy hormones...).
During my two weeks of bed rest (which felt like about two months), I did not leave the house--except to go to doctor's appointments, non-stress tests, and for more lab work every three days. While my hands and arms were black and blue because of my "bad veins", I did become a pro at punching that little button for the non-stress tests. And, with my doctor threatening a delivery every time I visited, my levels remained steady, and my baby continued to thrive. I was not getting better, but I was not getting worse either. I remained on bed rest, under close watch.
On Friday, August 13, after an early morning non-stress test, I received a phone call from my doctor. She told me that she wanted to see me on Monday, and to bring my bags because I would probably not be leaving the hospital until the baby was born. I was excited, but nervous. Eric and I spent the weekend making sure that every single thing was ready for the baby--the nursery was finished, laundry was done, carpets were vacuumed, the refrigerator was stocked, and my bag was packed!
We arrived at the doctor's office on Monday morning, ready for a baby! After a blood pressure check, my doctor was surprised, and slightly confused, about why it was so low. She wanted to know what I had been doing, and how my blood pressure could have dropped at this point! I didn't have any answers, but I was glad to hear the good news! Despite the sudden drop, my doctor did not want to take any chances--she scheduled me for a labor induction the next morning at 6 am. While I was glad for one more night at home with my husband, I was a little disappointed that I was, indeed, leaving the hospital with a baby still inside of me! We arrived home, and spent our last day as "just a couple" relaxing (everything was already done!), and we even had one last ice cream date that night!
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